Ever wonder how much your boyfriend’s friends know about your relationship? Or how much girls really dish to their friends? Read on to find out how much your boy is dishing and who’s keeping their lips sealed.
According to Kaitlin:
Girls talk. Of course we talk.
It’s how we make sure that we’re not crazy, our thoughts and actions are normal and warranted. Ask any gal you meet and she’ll tell you the same thing – if she’s having a problem, especially one with her significant other, her best friends probably know about it.
Let’s walk through some (hypothetical, of course) examples. Say your boyfriend of a few months decides to go out to a party, and without giving a reason, says he doesn’t want you to come with him. What do you do? Of course you call your best friend, right? Or at least send her a frantic text. I know I would – it would be freak-out central and I would need some girl talk, some validation that I wasn’t freaking out for no reason.
Or say that you get in an epic fight with your bf. There’s yelling, crying and maybe even some name-calling. Do you keep quiet around your friends, keep it between you and the boy, or do you call up your girls and tell them everything? My guess is you’d call. It’s only natural for us to reach out to our friends or family when we have a problem and need help. If you’re fighting with the one person you usually tell everything to, you really have no choice but to go to someone else to talk. It’s a normal thing to do, and no one can blame us for reaching out and trying to help ourselves feel better.
Maybe you don’t tell your girlfriends every gory little detail about your relationships, but they probably know the basics. Most girls tell when they hook-up, break-up and make-up. Some give only the surface details, while many others delve a little deeper to discuss and dissect every part of their relationships, good and bad. It’s natural, so don’t let anyone tell you differently.
Now, I’m not saying we blab to everyone we know. We don’t go around flaunting our recent hook- up to complete strangers or even acquaintances. We don’t tell our hairdresser or the person working at the front desk of our dorm that we just had a major argument with our significant other. It stays between close friends – people you know you can trust, and people who care about you enough to try to help you feel better. People who, if push came to shove, would throttle whoever made you feel bad about yourself and show them you are one girl who can’t be messed with.
So keep talking, ladies. It’s not a bad thing. In fact, in my experience, it can actually do more good than harm.
But what about the guys? Our resident guy expert, Dylan Nagy, gives you the info from the other side.
Exciting romantic moments are, well, exciting to talk about. For men, these moments can provide pleasure—let’s stick with the emotional side of this aspect, a self-esteem boost and a topic to discuss with friends. However, as the relationship matures, it seems like men are less eager to bring up intimate details, and, for whatever reason, they’re less willing to review their relationship with pals, unless there is a serious problem brewing.
Whether it’s the result of boredom or the learned tutelage of an unspoken code, men don’t mention their stories or situations without first having a reason for doing so. It’s a utilitarian approach that, for better or for worse, might find answers far too late in the game. The positive side to this approach is an application of the ‘let things work themselves out’ philosophy, which dictates that a pro-active approach to a problem may further complicate the scenario. The other side to this approach is obvious and far more damning: delayed actions are often too late to salvage something.
For men, it seems like raising a problem to the attention of a friend is an admission to a fault in the relationship that is in need of a repair. An answer from a trusted source could necessitate action, which could either disrupt a sturdy bond or play into the cliché ‘too little, too late’ dilemma. Really though, this is just an attempt to gauge an outsider’s view on a particular problem, and to analyze a proposed solution.
When it comes to non-problematic details, men appear even less likely to reveal information. If the relationship is healthy, then it will probably provide a sufficient self-esteem boost to the concerned gentleman, giving him no reason to discuss matters with his pals. If he’s willing to say anything, then it will probably be a simple, brief confirmation of the relationship’s healthy status, which tells more than an extended description ever could.
So don’t worry, ladies, you’re man is not out there talking about your latest fight or going into detail about how much of a b*tch you were being the other night, especially if you two have been together for awhile. For him, less is more. After all, isn’t a little mystery always enticing?