The year I graduated high school was the year I bravely stepped into the “real world” before heading off to college. Not only did I accomplish more than anyone thought I would that year, but I accomplished more than I thought I could. My confidence went up and I fully trusted my own capability. Now, it is three college semesters later and I unfortunately can’t say I still have the same amount of confidence. Truthfully, my confidence has plummeted.
School has always been a huge stressor of mine and in college it only got worse. Growing and learning new things is what fuels me, but I struggle in a traditional academic setting. This semester I can feel that I am getting by in classes but not gaining much intellectually. I have been feeling empty, which in turn is creating a lot of anxiety.
The constant thoughts of “Am I good enough?” pop into my mind. This sort of train of thought affects all areas of your life from personal relationships to your health. I have seen it begin already, so I’ve decided to reflect on a time where my confidence was through the roof. This brought me back to when I was eighteen.
As previously mentioned, I took a gap year. During this time I was doing work I was really proud of. I felt capable of anything that could get thrown my way. This in turn helped me to better understand my interests, my dislikes, and what I want to get out of college and adulthood. I felt like Wonder Woman.
I think back to who I was and who I am now, and realize that girl is not lost for good. Class has a lot of benefits of course, but writing papers and making projects to be judged by somebody else is draining. Lately, I have been feeling like I haven’t been accomplishing much I decided to write a poem for the first time in a long time. I had so much fun doing it and so much pride accomplishing it ,that I gained some motivation to do some schoolwork. It also raised my confidence all around.
It is so important to be proud of what you can bring to the table. Maybe you can sew or dance, but maybe you aren’t quite sure of what “your thing” is yet. And that’s okay! Exploring and taking time to improve on something you enjoy is such a rewarding feeling. I challenge you to create or do one thing that you are proud of that is unrelated to school. The point is to create something for the sole purpose of making yourself proud and no one else. Take note of how you feel too! Always remember, confidence is key.