The Trifecta of Slutiness: Lessons From My Mother

“Try to sit down. Does it still fit right?” 

It was sophomore year, and I was searching for the perfect homecoming dress. However, there is not one fashion-oriented bone in my body. So that’s where my mom came in.

The most beautiful, hilarious, and fashionable woman I know chose about 5,000 dresses from the rack, making me try on each and every one until I finally found a perfect match. Gorgeous gold sequins glittered dramatically against smooth, black fabric, the sweetheart neckline resting perfectly at my collarbones. I was staring in the mirror, scanning my figure for any tiny imperfections. But my mom’s voice interrupted the internal critique. “It’s perfect. Let me tell you why.” 

Now, although I love my mother to death, she does have a habit of turning everything into a life lesson. Most good parents will do the same. So I was doubtful when I was standing there in front of her, in an outfit significantly more revealing than my typical attire. But at that moment, as she smiled at me in my first party dress, she introduced the greatest outfit rule since Coco Chanel: The Trifecta of Sluttiness. 

The Trifecta of sluttiness

The Trifecta consists of three parts: tightness, shortness, and cleavage. They form a triangle that can change your outfit game forever. Here are the rules:

1. If one element of the Trifecta appears in your outfit, you’re giving Audrey Hepburn. Think classy, iconic.
2. If two elements of the Trifecta appear in your outfit, you’re in a sort of fashionable purgatory. Will it work? Will it not? That, my dear, is up to you.
3. If you’ve unlocked all three elements from the Trifecta, it’s probably time to hit the club.

why does this matter?

I won’t lie, it was weird to hear this rule from my mother. Did she seriously have a standard that featured the word sluttiness? But after trying it out, I was shocked to see how positively it influenced my day-to-day life.

I noticed that the Trifecta helped me to focus more on my internal confidence and less on what I was wearing that day. I started sitting a little straighter, laughing a lot louder, and overall feeling power in my choice. When I go out, I want people to notice my spirit, kindness, and good deeds before they look at my cute top. The idea of having standards for your outward appearance keeps your internal standards high as well. So, as you go through college, consider taking a moment to look inward. Think about how refocusing your attention to internal development can help you more easily express your inner beauty. 

so what have we learned?

First, know your worth, ladies! You don’t need to go full-Trifecta if you don’t want to. What you do and how you dress is your choice, so make it count! Second, let your personality speak for itself. The Trifecta helps you express that kind inner spirit – and look good while doing it. Finally, listen to your mother! She knows more than you think.

And if you don’t want to listen to yours, listen to mine. She definitely knows more than you think.

• #advice
• #fashion
• #mom
• college
• style