It’s almost February so you know what that means, love is in the air. One of the most nerve-wracking things about dating someone is getting over that first date. Where do you go? What do you do? It’s all very overwhelming. Thanks to Real College Guy Collin, you don’t need to worry anymore because he has some tips on how to tackle those pesky first dates.
Oh man I love first dates. It has to be said, however, they can be tricky. Any other date requires only that two people do something together. The first date, however, holds several other criteria in my mind:
The date must provide ample opportunity to talk without interruption – The first date is, before all else, about getting to know another person. Your first priority, man or woman, on any first date, should be to talk. Not just so you can find out “how many sisters, how many brothers”, but so you can figure out their little quirks, the stuff that makes them tick, the interesting nonsense that doesn’t come up without a little effort – essentially you’re trying to find out whether you like the way they THINK.
Avoid: Movies, concerts, libraries
The date must have a romantic edge, but mustn’t be blatantly amorous – Be clear you’re taking someone on a “couples” activity, but come on. You’re interested but you barely know them. Don’t go acting like true love is in the air. If it is, the setting won’t matter.
Avoid: High-end restaurants, expensive activities, other large gestures of affection
The date must offer an opportunity for the couple to actively DO something together (usually something characterized as “fun” or, occasionally, “interesting”) – Talking is the most important thing. But it’s also important to share an experience; to have a mutual history beyond “and then we spoke for 3 hours”. Plus, having some sort of activity planned gives a date direction and purpose. Make no mistake, even when relaxing people want to feel like they’ve DONE something. Plus, if it’s clear from the talking that this isn’t going to be “the one”, you’ll at least have had a good time with your evening.
Avoid: Doing nothing.
The date mustn’t present any situations either party would find particularly challenging – physically, emotionally, financially, or otherwise – A first date should be memorable because of the person you’re with and not much else. You’ll get lucky sometimes and take them somewhere incredible that blows both your minds, but your goal (and an admirable one at that) should be to create a comfortable night where you can get to know each other without pressure of any kind. The general pressure of a first date is plenty to keep the adrenaline high. Don’t worry your date with other things that make them feel self-conscious, inadequate or scared in any way.
Avoid: physically exhaustive activities (i.e. rock climbing), socially demanding scenarios (i.e. parties), sexually charged scenarios (i.e. back in your room alone).
Well, now that I’ve revealed to you that I am, in fact, a robot who processes romance with mathematical efficiency, I’ll give some examples of dates which fulfill these criteria.
Going to an autumn fair
Ice-skating
Getting dinner
Picnic
Art Show (if you know your date’s into it)
The Zoo
These are, I’m well aware, not INCREDIBLE dates. They’re first dates. After it hopefully goes well, you can go do that list of AMAZING dates you read on the internet. And of course, if you have enough knowledge about your date, you can fudge with the guidelines a little – if you know your date is into hiking, then hiking (a physically exhaustive activity that should probably be avoided if you’re going in cold) might be just the thing.
Just remember: A first date is about creating a comfortable space to get to know someone.