Getting a fake ID is a right of passage, as is a sweet sixteen party or eating Taco Bell for free after a night out (to each her own). If you’re a freshman, sophomore, or junior with a late birthday – walking down high street from Thursday through Saturday night makes you feel utterly terrible for not being 21. Wiping the x’s off your hands after entering Big Bar, Charlie Bear, or Park Street not only leaves your hands dehydrated but also makes you feel ‘basic’. Despite the power and great responsibility that comes with owning a fake ID, are they worth the price? Being underage myself I’ve done my fair share of scheming, in attempts to get into the mecca of the 21 and over world.
So, if you are going to get a fake ID, Here are some tips on how to use them:
If you have an older sibling, you’re in luck (have the person call the DMV, say he or she lost his ID, and for $15 you’ll have another copy!) Not only is this a completely legitimate way into the world of 21 and over, you also don’t have to burn a hole in your wallet! However, although this strategy is proven to work, it’s not the ID that matters, but your attitude and dress.
• Look confident. Head up. Shoulders back. Think murder (but not in the literal sense, more Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body sense). If you don’t, the bouncer will know something sketchy is up. They’re trained for this business, they can smell your fear. Memorize your ID, even the most obscure details. If you don’t memorize your ID, you’re going to look stupid and get your ID taken away (and there goes your dignity).
Everyone: It’s fine if you carry a little extra weight. As long as it is in your ego not in your beer/franzia belly.
• Dress the part- ladies, if you have a baby face, its alright – doll it up with some crimson lipstick, winged- eyeliner, and strap on some killer heels (minimal baby oil on your legs so that you look like a shiny new toy).
• Gentleman, you’re in lukewarm territory as it is, so look sharp and trendy. No sneakers. I’m not saying to channel your inner frat star but…you do what you have to do.
“Don’t be that guy”- You want everyone to like you? But do you also want to be broke (rhetorical)? It’s cool if that’s if your platform, but don’t go hungry for a week because you decided to be “that guy”. Drinking is a great way to make friends (under the legal limits), but remember your main purpose is to have fun not bankroll other people’s fun.
“Don’t be that girl”- It’s okay to cry in the bathroom because you get reminiscent of your ex. We’ve all been there – but when it gets to the point where your mascara is down your cheek…. Homegirl, no (total freshman move). As with dancing on the tables, it’s cute but falling is not. Remember Twitter handles like ‘OSU Make Out’ and ‘OSU Pass Outs’ exist- and if you’re not bound to get on there then ‘OSU Sophomore’ will definitely call you out, so be aware of your behavior when you drink.
Having a fake ID is fun, just remember that most places that sell them are scams. ID Chief went out of business 2 and half years ago and most of the others are nonexistent as well. If you see someone posting in your student group about getting a hookup with ID Chief, do not fall for it. ID Chief doesn’t pay people to advertise and promote for them; in High school I discovered ID Chief by word of mouth. Don’t lose your money, the wrong way.
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