On May 24, 2014 America had our own Royal wedding. Yes, I am talking about the nuptials of none other than Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Millions have watched the Kardashians become celebrities before their eyes during 9 seasons of Keeping up with the Kardashians and countless spin-offs. And this weekend we got to witness Kim’s third walk down the aisle. Well, more like Kim’s walk to the aisle, the two part season finale documented everything up to the anticipated Kimye wedding without actually showing it and we all know who’s fault that is **cough cough Kanye cough**.
This two-part season finale was a good check-in with all the members of family, and what we’ve learned is that everyone except Kim and Kendall are currently riding the struggle bus.
Rob missed the wedding:
As many tabloids reported over the summer, Rob was not at the wedding. He flew to Paris and left over “weight issues” because everything Rob does now is because of “weight issues”.
Khole was hungover:
Khloe, resident partier of the family, had a little too much fun the night before the wedding and was insanely hungover. But can you really blame her? Having to go to her sister’s wedding during her own very public divorce — I’d be drinking heavily too. Stay strong Khloe, you’re everyone’s favorite.
Scott is still struggling with his parent’s death:
Most of the first part of the finale focused on Scott’s depression over the loss of both of his parents within one month but he won’t let that stop him from making the blunt, sarcastic comments that we all know and love….
…and has made him appreciate this crazy family he has basically married into
Bruce and Kris — still separated:
Bruce and Kris are still separated but that won’t keep Kris from making condescending comments about whether or not Bruce can dress himself.
Kylie had blue hair:
Kylie, we see through your blue hair and chokers, you may say you’re fine but clearly you are afflicted by some rare mental disorder that makes you forget the nineties are over.
Brody feels attacked by Kris…again:
These two just can’t seem to work out their problems. This time Brody is upset Kris is paying for Brandon and Leah’s plane ticket and that Kim won’t let some stranger that is Brody’s latest girlfriend go to the wedding. Brody gets back at Kim by skipping the wedding for his “new DJing career” and going to her ex-boyfriend Reggie Bush’s wedding a couple days later.
Kanye has many best friends and an apartment in Paris, who knew?
Kanye literally shares nothing, forcing us to get excited over not very exciting things like the fact that he actually has friends. Kanye, why can’t you just let E! exploit every facet of your life like the rest of your new family?
BABY NORTH’S FIRST SCREEN TIME:
Probably the most important thing that happened during the whole finale was finally getting to see North West on screen. It was the moment so many of us had been waiting for:
Everyone’s jealous of Kendall:
Kendall, officially no longer Kendall Jenner, has been jet-setting all over the world being her perfect supermodel self and all of her sisters are jealous.
All this turmoil has us wondering, is the Kardashian golden –age coming to an end? Let’s hope not because what would motivate me to get my homework done on Sundays without the promise of a new episode at 9?