It can be hard in your late teens and early twenties to look in the mirror and like the person that is staring back at you. Social media is constantly perpetuating different beauty standards and trends that sometimes make us question our own self-worth. As someone who once fell victim to these traps, I am here to say that finding confidence is one of the most liberating and powerful things you can do. That being said, these are just a few of the changes I made to my habits that really helped my self-esteem grow and showed me how to appreciate myself.
1. End the Comparison
One of the worst games you can play is the comparison game. I used to walk into a room and instantly compare myself to every other girl in there, and spoiler alert: it never benefitted me. Confident girls lift up other girls, and with this mindset there is no such thing as a competition. Rather than comparing myself to others, when I see someone else succeed, it just becomes motivation for myself to grow. You gain nothing from wishing you could be someone else – love yourself first and recognize that we aren’t all the same, and that’s a beautiful thing in itself.
2. say affirmations
I seriously think that this is one of the most crucial steps in achieving a new level of confidence, though I admit, I had my skepticism. My TikTok page had been full of videos insisting that repeatedly reminding yourself of your worth would actually reprogram your brain into believing those things. So I gave it a shot – I started every morning with a few reminders, telling myself, “I am deserving”, “I am so lucky”, “I am worthy”, ecetera. The results were incredible! Not only did I feel better about myself, but it also boosted my mood each day. There’s even an app all of my friends and I downloaded called “I Am” that sends you affirmations throughout the day, and these too have shifted the way I think about myself entirely.
3. listen to positive music
Have you ever heard the phrase “you are what you listen to”? Well, it’s true! Because our mind absorbs what it is told, the kind of music and messages we listen to completely frame how we think about ourselves. Listen to songs that boost your mood and make you feel good. Songs with lyrics that are uplifting and are reflective of how you want to view yourself. On nice days, I love to put in my headphones and go for a walk and listen to feel good music, and it always leaves me feeling motivated and good about myself!
4. leave your comfort zone
When I used to be very insecure, there were a lot of things that I would not do simply because they made me uncomfortable, whether that was wearing a certain outfit or presenting myself a certain way. But the moment I started to shift my mindset to the idea that we can only be embarrassed if we choose to be is the moment I became confident. Rather than worrying about what other people would think of me, I started doing things my own way, as cliché as it sounds. I even went so far as to make myself uncomfortable on purpose – I wore outfits out that I would have never typically worn, or spoke up in situations I usually would have stayed quiet in. It was a challenge for myself, but it also always left me feeling rewarded and now I actually feel comfortable in situations that previously made me nervous.
5. hold yourself accountable
I will be the first to admit it can be a challenge to hold myself accountable. Sometimes, the last thing I want to do is workout or read a few pages in my book. However, when I started becoming more consistent with the positive habits in my life, I realized that I was seeing positive results that made me flourish! If you know something is going to make you feel better about yourself, force yourself to do it. You can even find someone in your life that you know will hold you accountable, and tell them your goals. Consistency is key and you will thank yourself for maintaining healthy habits.
6. spread positivity
Remember, confidence is not just an external thing. Being confident comes from within, and it’s about having a high self-concept. One of the best ways to start feeling better about the person you are (and about life in general) is to choose positivity. There have been plenty of times where I have let my negative thoughts take over, but lately I have been practicing maintaining a positive mindset and only choosing thoughts that will benefit me – and it’s great! The better the energy I put out into the world, the better things I receive.