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Friend Breakups

When hearing about breakups, almost immediately our minds go to romantic relationships. Sometimes, it seems like friend break ups are not even properly acknowledged. When you get out of a serious relationship, it’s expected that you have a grieving period, a time to be angry, sad or even relieved. When you lose a friend, it’s almost taboo to talk your feelings. Friends can break your heart too.  I want to preface this by saying that I am in no way diminishing the loss and hurt from romantic relationships. However, I personally believe that losing a close friend is harder than losing a romantic partner. The reason behind me thinking this is because you go into a relationship knowing that it will either end or you will spend the rest of your lives together. However, when you develop a friendship, you expect it to last forever. You talk about being each other’s bridesmaids, traveling the world together, and maybe even growing old in a nursing home together. At some point in your life, you are going to lose a friend. Whether you have a falling out or grow apart, it still hurts. 

Breaking up with a friend isn’t easy, but you need to remember that you are your own number one priority. Does your friend leave you feeling drained? Do they make you feel bad about yourself, and pressure you to be someone you’re not? These signs probably mean you are in a toxic friendship. Just because you are in a toxic friendship does not mean that your friend is a horrible person. It means that you do not mutually benefit each other. If you’re currently in a toxic relationship, just remember that you need to look out for yourself first. Leaving these types of relationships are likely to leave you saddened. Sometimes, what is best for you is not what you want to do. Do not forget that your own mental and emotional health is more important than a friendship. 


Friendships sometimes end by drifting apart as well. Whether you are going to different colleges, or are hanging out with new friends, you might lose a close friend along the way. While these friendships normally end without any bad blood, they still can leave you feeling a little empty. Just remember that personal growth is never something to be ashamed of, and growing apart is a natural factor of life. True friends will accept your personal growth, even if it means drifting apart. 


It is important to know that you are allowed to mourn the loss of a friendship. Even if you are the one who ended it, you can recognize your feelings. Losing a friend is never easy, no matter how close they were to you. Moving on after a friend breakup can be hard, but remember that you are bettering yourself. While you may not be “best friends forever”, they still helped shape you into the person you are today. 


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