Sex and the City, starring Sarah Jessica Parker and created by Darren Star, is a cultural masterpiece about womanhood, relationships, aging, and independence. Although aspects of the series have aged poorly, the themes and messages about womanhood maintain their relevance. The show is about figuring out who you are while navigating friendships, love, careers, and adulthood. Sex and the City taught us that there is not one right way to be a woman, and personal growth is often messy. It is a must-watch for every woman beginning her adult life.
Friendships can be Your Greatest Love Story
Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha all have very different personalities, careers, and lives. Throughout the series, their friendships with one another are the only constant. Their partners come and go, but the bond between their girlfriends remains. Much of the series focuses on the ladies’ love lives, but there is a large portion that emphasizes the complexity of female relationships. For example, Carrie is constantly seeking advice and reassurance from her friends, but she is also always misunderstanding, overreacting to, and offending her friends. In one episode, while discussing soulmates over brunch, the ladies decided that they would be each other’s soulmates.
Being Single ISn’t Something That Needs To Be Fixed
The ladies of Sex and the City each have different relationships with being single. Carrie is a lovergirl who jumps from relationship to relationship. Miranda has a cynical exterior while secretly wishing for a partner. Charlotte searches for love with her heart on her sleeve. Samantha embraces her sexuality and resists the idea of needing a relationship. Throughout the series, each of these women learn how to be secure outside of a relationship. Being single is a phase of life, not something to be ashamed of. Learning this was not linear for some of the characters. Time and time again, Carrie rushes into relationships to avoid being single. However, she has several moments of clarity when she realizes that being single isn’t so bad, and she can fulfill herself.
You Can Want Both Independence and Love
The series doesn’t force women to choose between independence and love. Miranda keeps up with her big career as a lawyer, while still becoming a mother. Samantha is very career-oriented and eventually finds a healthy relationship with a partner who cares about his career just as much as she does. This aspect of the series sends an important message to all women: you can be career-driven and desperately want to fall in love. Wanting love doesn’t make you less independent, and you can be independent while you’re in love!
There is No “Right Way” to be A Woman
Each woman from Sex and the City is uniquely themselves. They all find their own kind of lifestyle and love throughout the series, regardless of their different approaches to being a woman. They do not always agree with one another, but all of their perspectives are connected through womanhood. Womanhood is not one singular thing, and most women do not fit into one category. Sex and the City shows us how to appreciate and celebrate the differences among us.
| Carrie | Creative, Romantic, Complicated |
| Miranda | Practical, Ambitious, Sarcastic |
| Charlotte | Traditional, Hopeful, Soft |
| Samantha | Sexually Liberated, Confident, Unapologetic |
Your Career Isn’t Your Entire Identity
Each of the ladies from Sex and the City has their own relationship with their career. Samantha’s PR firm is very central to her character. As a lawyer, Miranda struggles with her workload after she has a child and realizes she may have to take a step back. She is drowning in her work and motherly responsibilities before she realizes that reducing her workload does not mean she has given up on her career. Carrie has an integrative approach to work-life balance. Many of her columns are based on the experiences in her personal, social and love life. Your relationship to your career is your own. It does not need to be your whole life, but it also doesn’t have to come to an end when you become a parent.
Growing Up Means Changing Your Mind
The characters are constantly changing their ideas about relationships, careers, marriage, and what they want. By the time you’re 30, the goals you had at 21 are outdated. Changing your major, career path, relationship status, or personal views is just a part of growing up. As we grow, we learn more and experience more. It is normal to be a completely different person in season six than you were in season one. We are not even close to who we can be yet!
You Don’t Have to Have It ALl Figured Out
The most important takeaway from Sex and the City as a woman in my twenties is that having my life all planned out is not realistic. Try as I might to turn an internship into a return offer, then a starter job, then a more permanent role, life has other plans. None of the women from the series have a linear life path. When the happy ending seems imminent, everything changes. We all experience heartbreak, doubts, and occasionally rethink our entire lives. Sex and the City showed me that it is normal! The series is so relatable because no one is perfect, and everyone’s plans blow up sometimes. Carrie is 32 years old in season one. If you are a college student like me, you aren’t even in season one yet!
Four women, Four lEssons
Sex and the City is not about finding the perfect relationship or having the perfect life. It is the story of four women growing and discovering themselves alongside one another. Carrie taught me that we are all hypocritical messes sometimes. Becoming a mother is less scary because Miranda showed me that not everything has to change. Charlotte’s eternal hope for love is contagious. Finally, Samantha taught me about developing security outside of a relationship.
Being a woman doesn’t have to involve constant optimization and finding the perfect version of yourself. It is about experiences, friendship, love, and figuring out who you are as you go.