If you’ve found yourself single after a serious relationship but wishing you had a partner, chances are you’ve probably asked yourself, ‘Am I ready for this again? Am I ready for another relationship?’ I find myself wondering about this a lot lately. Following a dramatic, strung-out and rough break up, I was so sure that I’d never date another person in college again. I stubbornly reserved that privilege for once I graduated, no exceptions.
Naturally, I found myself in a situation that had me challenging this, but I wasn’t sure how to know if I was ready or if it was too soon to be entering a relationship. After a lot of thought and hours of soul searching, I composed a list of four ways to know you’re ready for your next relationship:
1. you’re happy single
Seeing couples around campus and posting on social media together can sometimes make it feel like you’re the only single person on earth, and it can be more alienating than anything. But it’s important to embrace being alone and figure out what you want in a partner that way! Do things for yourself that you enjoy, learn to find happiness within yourself and find happiness in your friendships first before relying on someone else. Sometimes this process is quick, and other times it can take age. But it’s important to love yourself before you love anybody else; it’ll only make you more secure once you finally do enter a relationship.
2. the idea of a relationship doesn’t scare you
If you’re still grappling with things from past relationships and the thought of being tied down to one person makes you nervous, then you definitely should consider slowing things down. Being in a relationship should be filled with excitement and joy, not fear and anxiety. You don’t want to be on edge constantly, wondering ‘what if I had waited? What if I made the wrong decision?‘ When you make the choice to enter a relationship, it should be one of comfort and excitement, and you shouldn’t question your judgement.
3. you’re confident in your abilities as a partner
Being a good partner is key to a long-lasting relationship. If you are still worried about how dedicated you can be, whether that’s because you have other people on your mind or because of past situations, take a step back before you jump into a relationship. Not only do you owe it to your significant other to be a loyal partner, but you owe it to yourself to only get into something once you’re 100% ready. The last thing you want to do is enter a relationship at a stage where you are feeling overly dependent and reliant on others for your happiness, and you can’t embrace your full potential as a significant other.
4. you’ve met someone that you see a future with
It can be tempting–especially during this time of the year–to jump into a relationship because you want someone to bake cookies with and watch scary movies with. But trust me when I say you’re going to want to take your time when making such a big decision. While all of those things seem great, moments like that are temporary, and finding a partner that you want to do everything (including the mundane things) with is crucial if you’re going to be with this person long-term. It’s also important to be with someone you’re comfortable enough to be yourself around; if you question who you are around them, then maybe it isn’t time to be in a relationship just yet.