Tinder is addicting. I don’t care what anyone says, Tinder. Is. Addicting. And whatever your reasons are for swiping through the selection — no judgment — there are three guys that I can promise you’ll come across.
1. Mr. Smash and Pass
You know this guy. The one whose first picture features a not-so-impressive abdomen, and whose second picture features an even less impressive game day look, beer in hand. This is the guy that will try and get you to come over at 1am to watch some ‘movie’ that you probably don’t want to see and whose emoji of choice is the classic winky face. His drink of choice is anything mixed or better yet, anything free, and he has the same hairstyle as your celebrity crush did back in 2010. He will NOT take you to dinner first. Left swipe.
2. The Hairy Hipster
Ah, your typical Columbus hipster. He’s everywhere, and he started growing out his beard last June (this isn’t a phase or a November thing.) He’s the one that loves coffee, but refuses to step foot in a Starbucks, and he’s probably in grad school for journalism or history or maybe even political science. This guy drinks more wine than your drunk aunt, and spends his Sundays catching up on his podcasts. He thinks he’s better than the rest of the world but that just isn’t true. Left swipe.
3. The Neighborhood Misfit
His first picture is a bathroom selfie in his favorite snapback and shades. This is the guy that’s probably just a tiny bit too old for you, regardless of his opinion on your age difference. The one that frequents college parties way too often for someone who isn’t in college. He is very proud of his achievements in the online gaming community, and he swears that the iPhone is the worst phone on the market about as often as he swears higher education is a horrible idea. You know the one. Left Swipe.