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The 16 Types of Drunk Girls, As Told By Kimmy Schmidt

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at OSU chapter.

During your night out at a party or a bar, it’s inevitable that you’re going to have to talk to a lot of different drunk girls. Some will be your friends and some will be strangers you meet in the bathroom line, but either way, you’re bound to meet a few like this:

1. The Foodie: This is the girl who will not stop planning her drunk food. Pizza, mozzarella sticks, donuts, Cane’s… the possibilities are endless.

2. The One Who’s Up For Anything: This girl would go anywhere or drink anything. She’s also the one who wakes up with Uber bills and credit card charges for places she didn’t even know she went.

3. The Dancer: Sometimes she’s good, sometimes she’s bad and sometimes it gets ugly, but you cannot stop this girl from dancing (even when no none else is).

4. The Moody One: After one drink she’s happy, after two she’s mad, after three she’s crying… this is the girl who has a lot of emotions, and they slowly come out drink by drink.

5. The Reminiscer: I may have just invented this word, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist. This is the girl who wants to talk about old times and tell the stories you’ve heard a million times over and over again. She will probably make references to The Baby-Sitter’s Club or Judy Bloom, too.

6. The Flirt: If you’re looking for this girl, there’s a good chance she’s chatting it up with a boy at the bar. At the beginning of the night she may have some success, but by the end, she’s too many free drinks in and talking just like Kimmy.

7.  The Inspirational One: Whether you ask for advice or not, this girl is going to give you a girl-power-you-don’t-need-no-man speech that sounds like it came from a Spice Girls song.

8. The Complainer: There’s always someone in the group who had a bad week. This girl cannot help but complain about something every time you talk to her.

9. The Giddy One: Sometimes alcohol makes people really, really happy. This is the girl who will laugh at anything and usually responds with gibberish.

10. The Instagrammer: Beware the instagrammer. This is the girl who will make you take 385729 photos with her and spends the entire night editing on her phone. #OnlyAtABarSoICanGetInstaLikes

11. The Too Far Gone One: The goal is to get here by the end of the evening, but some girls get drunk a little quicker than others. There’s a good chance you’re going have to help walk this one home or hold her hair, but you love her anyway (plus it could be you next weekend).

12. The One Who Makes New Friends: There’s one in every group. This is the friend who will be by your side one minute and taking selfies with a group of people you’ve never seen before the next.

13. The Boy Crazy One: This one is different from the flirt because she doesn’t take no for an answer. You just have to let her do her thing, and answer the phone when she needs a ride home the next morning.

14. The Snapchatter: Just when you think her snap story cannot get any longer than it was last weekend, she proves you wrong with the next one. The best (and worst) part about this girl is she captures some of your finest moments on video.

15. The Runaway: This girl goes from white girl wasted to full speed ahead in a matter of seconds. Sometimes she’s running to pizza, sometimes she’s running home, sometimes she’s running to a boy and sometimes shes running back to the bar (even after it closed).

16. The Mean One: This is the girl who gets a little feisty. Sometimes shes aggressive toward strangers, and sometimes she takes it out on you. Either way, she will probably regret (or deny) it in the morning.


Gifs courtesy of Netflix and http://unbreakingkimmy.tumblr.com.

Sarah is a student at The Ohio State University who loves all things television and pop culture. She is a writer for HC OSU and a Chapter Advisor. For more from Sarah, visit www.sarahmarieh.wordpress.com or www.twitter.com/sarahhearon.