The house is filled with the sound of scurrying little feet. There is a fish tank full of frogs near the dining room table and fake green snot on the kitchen floor. A spiderman action figure sits on the couch. A transformer lays in the bathtub. Amber Casey, a 24- year-old single mom, chases her son playfully through the halls.
In the living room are signs of Casey’s other life. The one where she’s not a mom. There’s a picture on the wall of Casey, her hair slicked into a tight bun. Inside a closet is a row of neatly pressed dark blue uniforms. Casey is a sergeant in the United States Marine Corps and it has not been easy being a woman in a man’s world.
“I feel like I’ve had to work twice as hard just to be looked at as equal. I didn’t want to be the anchor holding everyone back. I’m as tough as anyone,” she says.
Casey was born in San Jose, California on April 3, 1987. She played with chalk, jumped rope and went to public school. She was raised by her mother and her father wasn’t always around after her parents divorced. Her mother did her best to provide for her family and worked nights to support them. When times were tough, Casey lived with her best friend.
“I had a happy childhood. I was a normal girl,” says Casey. “Well, I did like to dress up in camouflage. I did that all the time. I thought it was the coolest thing.”
In 2005, after a brief stint at West Valley Community College in California, Casey decided to enlist.
“I always had this fascination with the military. Always. I looked into it and the Marine Corps was the hardest. There weren’t many women. So I enlisted. I thought to myself, if I’m going to really do this then I’m going all the way. I’m going to take the challenge. I’m going to be a marine,” says Casey.
Weeks later, Casey was headed to boot camp, which she describes as emotionally draining and physically exhausting, but she never quit. After years of training and moving up through the ranks, Casey became a sergeant. Six years later Casey is one of few women with the Sixth Engineer Support Battalion in Alpha Company.
“When I first became a sergeant, I was a bully. I screamed at my guys and pushed them hard. I’d dump garbage on their trucks and wake them up at two in the morning and have them clean it. I showed them I was serious. I was mean so they would know I couldn’t be walked on,” says Casey.
But at age 20, her life changed. It was on a drive with her then boyfriend. He was smoking and the smell of cigarettes made her sick. She took a pregnancy test and it was positive. Casey wanted to weigh all her options, but a dream ended up guiding her decision.
“I was about to get an abortion. And I flashed back to me putting a baby in a car-seat. And it was a boy. And he was crying and flailing his arms and I was frustrated. Then he looked at me and said ‘I love you mommy.’ I knew right then I was keeping it. And I knew it was a son,” Casey says.
She named her baby Michael, after his father, and became a single mom, just like her mother was. Casey decided to become a reservist, knowing she wouldn’t want to leave her son.
Back in her living room, Michael runs around the corner but trips and falls. He cries. Casey is at his side instantly, kissing his “boo boo” to make it better. She tears off the lid of a Kool-Aid and gives it to him to drink. “Oh Michael, what would I do without you? I love you so much,” she tells him.
After moving to Oregon, Casey met Christopher Snortland, a fellow marine. They have been together for three years and he has embraced Michael as his own. Snortland is a corporal in their unit, which means Casey gives him orders.
“It can be uncomfortable or awkward. I don’t like telling him what to do. But the marines has also brought us a lot closer,” she says.
In 2011, Snortland deployed to Afghanistan. Casey stayed at home with her son, trying to keep busy, but always near the phone. She wrote him letters, sent emails and packages and hung out with his family to ease the pain of a deployment.
“I missed him so much. I was able to understand what it’s like dating in the military, the risks that come with it,” says Casey. “There were a lot of sleepless nights and days I spent worrying, but it gave us such a tight connection. I could be there for him as his girlfriend but then also as a marine,” she explains.
Although the marines is her passion, Casey has begun to think of the future. She is taking a full load of classes at Lane Community College and looking into nursing. All of her classes are scheduled so that evenings are free to be with her son.
“Amber is smart, pretty and goal- oriented. She is strong. I know that in the future she will be able to do whatever she wants because she is so determined and can handle a lot. She’s a great marine and a great mom,” says Snortland, who lives with Casey and has been back from deployment for over a year.
Casey grabs her son and pulls him on her lap. She pinches and tickles him while he laughs and squirms. He has a Kool-Aid stain around his mouth and is wearing space pajamas. Michael crawls down from her lap and holds her hand. She gets him ready for bed.
“I don’t know how I juggle all of this. But I love it. I wouldn’t trade it for anything,” says Casey.