The day I left for college, my older sister handed me a letter. In it, she shared her advice on coping with being away from home for the first time. “I want you to understand that there are going to be days where you will be extremely homesick and all you want to do is stay in your room and cry all day and that is okay. You are allowed to miss home and everything you’re used to. Just don’t feel too sorry for yourself, because after all, you’re living the experience that most of us wish we could relive over and over again,” she wrote. Reading this shortly after driving away from the house I grew up in, I sat in the backseat of my dad’s truck wondering what I had gotten myself into. Why did I choose to go to school so far away? How am I going to be okay without my parents? I could feel my nerves buzzing the further north we drove. I kept thinking about how far Oregon was from Southern California.
Moving away from home for the first time is a big adjustment no matter how far you go. But for those of us who have moved to a different state, the transition can be particularly challenging. I sometimes find myself envious of my friends who stayed in-state on those rainy, 40-degree mornings as I’m walking to an 8 a.m. class. But the thing is, pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone and venturing off to a new state can teach you so much. Here’s why…
1. You can’t pop home on weekends
Living in a different state can be hard because there will be times when you feel like you’re completely alone in an unfamiliar place. If I had the option to drive home on the weekend or visit my family once a month, I probably would. But doing so would take away from one of the greatest learning experiences that college has to offer: independence. When something goes wrong, I can’t rush home and suddenly feel better; I have to stick it out. I have to use the resources immediately available to me and problem solve for myself. I didn’t know many people when I came to Oregon, so I had to push myself outside of my comfort zone in order to make friends. I started talking to a group of people in one of my classes and now they’re my best friends. They became my greatest resource and made Oregon feel like home for me, which wouldn’t have happened had I not spoken up that day in class.
2. You are exposed to a new environment
Moving from California to Oregon was especially challenging in regard to the weather. The gray sky never seemed to help when I was feeling homesick, but with a change of perspective everything got better. Oregon wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful if it didn’t rain so much. The huge Evergreens that tower over our campus are what make it so breathtakingly beautiful, and the changing of the seasons is something I would have never experienced if I stayed closer to home.
3. You learn how to handle being homesick
This was perhaps the hardest thing for me. I was homesick up until Spring Term, and there were times when I felt like I couldn’t be so far from home anymore. Hearing people complain about being a few hours away from home always frustrated me because they at least had the option of driving home to their families. I have learned to appreciate the distance so much more now. I lived in New York over the summer, and I wasn’t homesick at all. I feel like I can go anywhere now and I will be okay. I know the people I love are just a phone call away. Working through my homesickness helped me feel like I can handle whatever life throws at me with confidence.
4. You learn to adapt
When home isn’t easily accessible and friends are a thousand miles away, you are left with two options – sit at home and feel sorry for yourself or go out and make these last few years of living carefree as memorable as possible. Making Oregon my home didn’t happen over night. It took time and a lot of optimistic energy. But I did it, and you can, too.
There were times last year when I felt like I couldn’t deal with being so far away, but now I can’t imagine still being at home. The most valuable thing for my transition was using my support system back home as well as building myself a new life in Oregon. My new friends kept me busy and understood homesickness as well. So, if you go to school out-of-state, then bravo to you – it takes courage. If you’re considering it, remember that it will only make you a stronger and more well-rounded person, and who wouldn’t want that?