So I guess the time has come for me to get my ass in gear and come up with resolutions for the year 2012, but honestly, who am I kidding? I don’t think that I have ever, in my 20 years on this planet, managed to keep a single one. With a level of self-discipline that rivals that of college boys at a lingerie party, I am the poster child for failed resolutions. That being said, just because I’ve lost all hope for success, that doesn’t mean every collegiette™ should, so I gave myself a resolution that I knew I could keep: create a list of ways that other people, excluding myself, can follow through with and experience extreme pride in their ability to maintain their resolutions. So, without further ado, I present to you five fail-proof (no, seriously) steps to follow should you choose to stay true to your resolution year-round:
JUST ONE. Not two. Not seven. Just one resolution. As human beings, we are not naturally inclined towards change. It’s hard enough to change one aspect of our character or lifestyle; surely braving more than that would risk a mental breakdown. Sadly, we can’t all be superwomen like Oprah or Angelina Jolie, so if you intend to stick to your resolutions, it’s imperative that you be realistic about your abilities!
DON’T SHOOT FOR THE MOON. Sure, according to a quote meme of the modern era, one should “shoot for the moon” because “even if you don’t make it, you’ll land among the stars.” But do you really want to be stuck in a place with no gravity where there are 100 billion others who, just like you, missed their mark? Doubt it. Instead, be realistic about your resolution. Choose something that will be challenging yet possible, like learning a new recipe each week or swearing to wear REAL clothes to every class period next term.
READY, SET, GO! Picking a start date is super duper important if you plan on succeeding with your resolution. Why? Because if you’re anything like me, lacking a start date will inevitably lead to the unimpressive internal monologue of “I’ll start tomorrow.” … “Okay, tomorrow.” … “TOMORROW.” … “No, really, I am seriously doing it. Tomorrow.” With a definitive start date, you steal from your less-disciplined self the freedom of procrastination, and this can be what makes or breaks the success of your resolution.
OOPS. Don’t forget that change takes practice and dedication, and slip-ups are bound to occur. When this happens, instead of giving up, remind yourself that it’s all part of the process, and jump back on the powerful steed that is your resolution! If you ask me, worse than never trying is giving up. Don’t believe me? Ask Thomas Edison.
CELEBRATE SUCCESS. If (by some miracle I have yet to experience) you are able to achieve your resolution, you sure as hell better celebrate it! Keep a reward in mind for yourself as incentive to persevere. With this tactic, you can keep your eye on the prize and stay motivated to strive for success. Nothing, except possibly the feeling of being hugged by Ryan Gosling, is superior to the feeling of accomplishment that a collegiette™ gets when she is successful.