Many relationships, especially in college, occur at a time when lovers are at completely different places in their lives. Whether you are dating someone still in high school, have a lover that goes to a different college, or had your partner graduate a couple years before you did, dating long distance is extremely hard and should be done so in a healthy way. Many couples will go months on end without seeing on another, others will schedule to see each other every other weekend. Different things work for different people, and all relationships are different. However, I came up with a couple good and not so good tips on dating long distance, the right and wrong ways for your personal happiness and health.
1. Communication is Key
If you plan on sticking together with someone that isn’t going to be in the same town as you anymore, you have got to keep good communication with them for the relationship to stay good. Often times text messages and emails can be misunderstood, don’t be the couple getting in a fight because your significant other read your text wrong and is now giving you the cold shoulder via social media.
Skype, Facetime, and other video chats can be the saving grace to long distant relationships. Seeing that special face on the screen makes the biggest difference in the world when it comes to long distance. I would so much rather Skype my boyfriend than get a five-word text message or have a five-minute phone call. It feels like they are actually there.
2. Know Their Intentions
Though long distance relationships can be hard to tackle and foresee the future of the relationship, you need to be upfront and honest with your partner in order for things to not end badly. Ask them what their goals are in the future, and make sure if those goals don’t somehow involve you that you aren’t wasting your time on someone who doesn’t see a future with you. Waiting for someone is okay, but if you waiting for someone who is never going to commit, maybe it’s time to break that bond and start searching for someone else. Being apart for too long is unhealthy, so if you don’t think your relationship will last, get out of it and make yourself happy in some other way.
3. Always know when you are going to see them next
It’s incredibly hard to be in a long distance relationship and have no idea when you are going to see your partner next. There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. You have to have a date to look forward to seeing them again. Don’t leave the relationship in limbo because you’re too lazy to plan your next encounter. If you love them enough to stay with them long distance, the least you can do is make plans for when you will see them next. Even if you know you won’t be in the same state for several years, if you make plans to visit each other every two months vs. every nine months, a little will go a long way. And trust me, you will be thanking yourself in the long run when you are lonely at night missing your significant other.
4. At the end of the day, focus on yourself
Long distance relationships take a toll on people after awhile, especially if the kind of relationship they are in isn’t a healthy one. If you are noticing that you are unhappy all the time because you can’t be with your significant other, it’s time to break up. Being in love is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but the first thing you need to focus on is yourself. If you aren’t happy with the life you have, change it. If you aren’t happy with the person you have become, don’t be that person anymore. Life and college are so short that you can’t think twice about stuff sometimes. You are young and this should be the time to make mistakes, take chances, and to be happy. I am a sucker for a good love story but only if both parties are happy in that love story.
Don’t be the girl who sits on the sidelines because her boyfriend graduated college before she did. In fact, don’t be the girl that let’s their significant other affect the way that she chooses to live her life. If they love you, they will support you in all the decisions you make in your life. If they don’t support you, maybe they aren’t the one for you. It’s all about moderation, open communication, and overall physical and mental wellness. Long distance relationships can be a beautiful thing, but only if you are willing to make it work on both ends.