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Being Single & How To Be Perfectly Okay With It

I’m at a time in my life where I don’t know if I’m personally ready to commit myself to be romantically involved with someone else. Not because I’ve had my heart broken too many times or I’ve fallen out of love, I just can’t stop thinking about all of the amazing possibilities that will come along by living on my own. I’m learning how to be single. Truly single and perfectly okay with it. I’m in the process of learning to be happy with being on my own and learning to love myself before I can open up to a relationship.

“Single is  not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.” 

There are a lot of benefits about being single that often go unrecognized because people prefer the romanticized idea of being in a relationship and dependent on someone else. We live in a day and age where we try to empower single women by encouraging them to have flings or casual relationships because it means freedom or levity, when ideally, we should be empowering single women to find themselves and fully embrace every moment of personal growth and development. 

For most of my life, I always believed people fulfill their own pursuit of happiness by being in love with someone else, that their happiness relies on another person, but ultimately, as a single women, I am allowed to be just as happy being on my own as someone else who is in a relationship. Being single doesn’t mean I’m not open to love or relationships, it just means I want to get lost in this world, instead of getting lost in someone else. 

The reality is, I am my own person and I need to be okay with being with myself before I can enjoy being with someone else whole-heartedly. I am learning to live this life dependent on myself. I love the idea and the freedom of being able to pack up my bags one day, move somewhere new, immerse myself in my passions and travel to exciting places I’ve never been before without my choices and decisions being influenced by a significant other. By being single and dependent on my own, I am getting the chance to build my own lifestyle. 

By being open to what life has to offer and allowing this time to figure who I really am, I am living my own personal adventure. It may be scary and terrifying, but it can also be exciting and exhilarating to live a life I’ve fully created on my own. Being single gives me the opportunity to become the best possible version of myself. 

This is the perfect time in my life explore all of the possibilities out there and be by myself, with myself. This is the time of reflection, a time of acceptance and for letting go. This is the time to grow closer to those who inspire me, figure out my life’s passions, take big risks and do things I love with people I love. 

There’s no secret formula or fairy Godmother that will transform you into the happy, single, woman you’ve always wanted to be — this journey is a process, but a necessary process to figure out the thoughts that make you tick, the way you laugh, your quirks, the way you see the life and what makes you, YOU. This journey is about embracing every single part of you, admiring your likable qualities, learning to love your flaws and being open to all of the parts that make up who you are. 

Being single is a gift of self-love, an opportunity to embrace whatever life has to offer. I am at a place in my life where I can happily say, “I am single and I am perfectly okay it,” and I hope that others can reach a point where they can say the same. 


Hi! I'm Savannah Mendoza, a senior studying photojournalism at University of Oregon. Photography has always been one of my passions and I also love hiking, smoothie bowls, cats and going to the beach. I'm excited to continue to grow and learn about photography and writing through the opportunity of Her Campus.
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