I am definitely a “yes” girl, one who tries to cram everything into one day and wants to please everyone. Between grabbing coffee with a friend, taking on extra school projects and helping out in any way possible, I’m basically in five hundred places at once. Most of the time, it makes me feel important, useful and valuable, but sometimes I start feeling overwhelmed and regretting the decision of saying yes to too many things in the first place.
Learning how to say “no” more often is such an important response to have — it’s a short and simple answer that will have an impact on your goals, aspirations and your overall well-being. These five reasons will guide you down a better path of prioritizing your needs, being more productive and allowing time to focus on what’s best for you.
1. Saying no doesn’t make you rude.
Often times, I’m afraid of saying, “no” because of the response I might get in return. I am a huge people pleaser, I say, “yes” a majority of the time because I know it will make others happy and knowing that brings me joy. But don’t be afraid to say “no” out of the fear of what the reaction might be or out of the fear of never being invited again. Having the power to say “no” makes you sure of how you want to spend your time. If you have other obligations, things to take care of, or if you simply need a day to rest, it’s important to take a step back to prioritize and know that the other person should understand your needs.
You can flip the situation around and ask yourself if you thought less of someone who declined your invitation. Most likely, the answer is no! In the end, we respect people’s boundaries and their choices and hope that there’s a chance to reschedule the plan for another time.
As you start doing more of what makes you feel is best for you, saying, “no” will provide less stress and the worry of hurting other people’s feelings will fade.
2. You don’t have unlimited time in the world.
Some days, I feel like Beyonce – fierce and confident as I check things off my to-do list, complete each task with full motivation, grabbing meals with friends in between and basically trying to fit as much as I can into a day without much hesitation. But by the end of a jam-packed week or even just a long day, I get emotionally and physically exhausted. I begin to lose motivation, stress on what I have left to do and I quickly start to lose patience.
It’s important to acknowledge that you are not an unlimited resource. There’s only a certain amount of time, energy and attention you have to hold accountable for yourself. When you know what’s best for you and your well-being, saying “no” will provide you with more confidence and assurance of yourself knowing you have a plan, a vision and ways of how you want to spend your time.
3. Self-care is important.
As much as I love to keep myself busy and spend as much time as I can with family and friends, eventually, there’s a turning point where I need to simply need to check in and ask myself how balance I am feeling. At least once a week, no matter what my plans are, I make sure to set aside time to do something positive for my well-being. Whether it’s journaling, going on a hike or doing a face mask on a Saturday night, these different forms of self-care are extremely important to nourish the soul.
4. You don’t always need a reason.
I’ve definitely had those days when my friends are trying to invite me to go out and grab a drink, see a movie or get a bite to eat, when deep down, all I want to do is order take-out, get into my comfiest pajamas and watch multiple seasons of Gilmore Girls. Most of the time, I do have other obligations if I have to decline an invitation, but on days when I’m ready to go to bed by 8:00 pm, I don’t necessarily have an excuse. I often feel like I have to go out of my way to provide a justification for saying “no” in hopes of not hurting the other person’s feelings for bailing on them.
5. Listen to your intuition.
When it comes to making decisions, if you’re hesitant on the answer and not ready to whole-heartedly say yes, then your answer should be no. Listening to your gut and getting a sense of your intuition will guide you down an easier path of choosing between when to say yes and when to say no.