10 Safari Animals You Can Find on Campus

A college campus is always pretty wild. You walk into a party and the hosts are raging like animals, you walk into the dining hall and people are fighting for the last waffle or sandwich, and you stroll into class past the bell and people have already marked their unassigned spots with their bags. So what types of animals would there be at Oregon State if we were really on safari?

 

1. The couple who isn’t short on public displays of affection.

This is the couple that always invites you out to dinner or bowling with them but then ends up making out in front of you half the night. You love them to death but you’re getting a little sick of feeling awkward every time you all hang out.

 

2. The Freshmen who only travel in packs.

This is the girl group that goes everywhere together. Whether they are going to classes, the dining hall, or out to a party they do not leave each other’s sides. They may not stay friends after freshman year but for now they’ll keep screaming best friends forever wherever they go so everyone knows how young and naive they really are.

 

3. The guy trying to hook up with every girl on his dorm floor.

This is the guy who either didn’t get any attention in high school and is now trying to make up for lost time or is the guy who dated everyone and expects that college will go the exact same way. Beware of this guy if you want something more than just a one night stand.

 

4. The girl who’s an expert on Instagram filters.

This is the girl that knows how to use Instagram filters so she always looks tanner, prettier, and more glamorous than everyone around her. She has a color scheme she sticks to and tracks how many followers she has religiously.

 

5. The guys that always end up fighting after having a few too many.

These are the guys that never drink just to have fun. They drink to rage and haven’t had a Friday night where they didn’t get blackout drunk. Their grades have been dropping since their first term of college and you honestly don’t know how they haven’t dropped out yet.

 

6. Your athletic friend who never sits still for very long.

This is your student athlete friend who is always about to go for a jog, bike to her PAC class, or basically occupy Dixon for hours on end. You don’t know how she gets all her homework done in between the working out she does.

 

7. The girlfriend that is desperate to hold on to her long distance relationship.

This is the girl who never goes out of her dorm room and is skyping her boyfriend every night to check in. She’s totally ok with missing out on her college experience now but you know she’ll regret not having more fun later.

 

8. The friend who is always snacking.

This is your friend that whether in class or at a frat party has an arsenal of snacks at the ready. Looking for cheese sticks, apple slices, crackers, or nuts? She probably has multiples of all of the above.

 

9. The girl preparing for Shasta by wearing her bikini everywhere, pretending her water hose is the beach, and working out constantly.

This is the girl out on the hill near Weatherford every day in her bikini soaking up the sun. She has been tanning since January, probably considers herself a California girl whether she is one or not, and when she’s not out in the sun basically lives in the gym.

 

10. The night owl with an 8 am class.

This is your friend who has successfully avoided morning classes the last three terms but now is forced to take a class that is only offered at 8 am. No matter how much coffee they drink, this is not someone you want to talk to in the morning. If they snap at you just know it’s probably best to talk to them again after 11 am for a better response.

 

Stay Wild, Beaver Nation!