Relationships can be wonderful. But independent women don’t need them to be happy, they’re the icing on an already great cake (the cake being us). We’re confident, happy, capable, & are lucky if we can find someone else that can work with that. So here are a few things to keep in mind if your significant other is already their own strong person.
We won’t chase you.
This one kind of comes into play before a relationship starts. Independent women have already built themselves a life, & they won’t waste their time playing mind games trying to get you to notice them.
We can handle being on our own.
Going to events, running errands, getting coffee, even meeting your friends; don’t be afraid to leave us alone when you need to go to the bathroom or run an errand. We like meeting new people & exploring for ourselves. We can keep ourselves busy & entertained. (We’ll get into how being independent, an introvert, & having anxiety all affect each other another time…)
Sometimes we need to be on our own.
Personally, I am not only independent, but I am also an introvert. So while I can love spending time with people, over time it just exhausts me. Needing a day to ourselves doesn’t mean we’re upset, it just means we need some time to do our own thing & re-center ourselves.
If you want to do something without us, please do!
We get that not all of our interests will be mutual. But just because we don’t want to go doesn’t mean you should give it up. & after we’d love to see the excitement in your eyes while you tell us about it.
Our dream may not be the big wedding.
It may not involve a wedding at all. Some independent women have a totally different plan in mind for themselves. You have to be open-minded to alternatives because we’re not afraid to go against the norm. Talk, ask questions, it’s all about open communication.
We don’t like to ask for help.
I’d rather it take me three tries & learn for myself than have someone do it for me. I like working for what I have & figuring things out. But when that goes too far & you see us floundering for too long, we appreciate when you offer support without making a big deal about it. It makes us feel cared for without undermining each other.
We still love affection.
Sure we can hold ourselves together, but that doesn’t mean we don’t like being told we look beautiful or funny. We may face things head on, but it’s nice having reminders we’re not doing it all alone.
We need someone who can be their own person, too.
We don’t want to date another version of ourselves. We’re with you for you. Don’t be afraid to challenge us or disagree. We won’t baby you through everything in life, so we don’t expect you to tiptoe around us either.
Really we’re just looking for someone who doesn’t expect us to change for them, & who doesn’t need to change for us. But someone we can be strong with together.
HCXO, Keri