I saw an article recently about a volleyball coach that quit after only one season with the team because the parents were harassing her about the amount playing time that their children were receiving. A coach should not have to quit at the hands of the behavior of the parents. Parents do not, I repeat, do not determine playing time. Playing time is earned by the player and no one else. If the player works hard at their craft and makes an effort to get better at what they do, then they will have earned time on the court or field.
I’m going to tell you a story that’s based on actual events.
Margret was 16 years old when she experienced this growing problem. She was playing for a volleyball club that she felt was a good fit for her. The coaches knew what they were talking about, they gave valuable practice tips, and the other girls were fun to play with.
As practices started, Margret noticed that the team’s parent representative would talk to the coach before, after and even during practices. Margret would overhear these conversations and they would include how the parent’s daughter is very talented, how hard she’s been working, or how well she’s been eating. Mind you, the job of a parent representative is to book hotels for tournaments that are far away, collect dues for the team, and to help provide food during tournaments, almost like a treasurer.
Through this, Margret would keep working harder. She didn’t let these conversations bother her until she realized what was actually going on. As the season progressed, she realized that she wasn’t getting the playing time that she thought she was going to get. Margret would work extremely hard in practice and would always hustle, but the parent representative’s daughter would do close to nothing. Margret found herself more on the sidelines than on the court.
This continued throughout the seasons until she graduated high school. Margret felt defeated. Nothing that she did was recognized by her coaches. The extra effort she put in, all the hard work in the gym just flew right past her coach’s eyes. Margret felt so devastated that she quit the sport after high school.
This is just one of the many examples of kids who suffer on the other end of parent politics. In this story, the coach listened to the parent instead of their own making decisions to benefit the team.
I’m not saying that a parent shouldn’t make conversation with a coach. A “Hey!” or “Hello.” or a “How’s your day going?” isn’t going to harm anyone. Only when it gets to “My kid is doing so good!” or “My kid works so much harder.” does it become problematic; influencing the amount of play time their child should get is when it becomes an issue. Parents should not influence the game, especially if that parent already plays an important job in the club.
HCXO, Maria