My Top 20 Favorite Dad Jokes

by Abbey Edmonson

I am a HUGE fan of dad jokes.  I really don’t understand how someone can’t appreciate the comedic gold that dad jokes introduce into the world.  If you are one of those people who needs to be educated on the eloquent mastery that is a good dad joke, you have come to the right place.  If you are already a fan, congrats!  Dad jokes!

1. I just got a job cleaning mirrors because I could really see myself doing it.

2. What did the tired artist say?  

I’m drawn out.

3. I got a new vacuum… it really sucks.

4. You know what my favorite thing is about Atheism?  

It’s a non-prophet organization.

5. “Hey dad, thanks for putting an elephant in my room.”  

“Yeah, don’t mention it.”

6. Why are the Middle Ages sometimes called the dark ages? 

Because there were so many knights.

7. Two elephants and a snake fall off a cliff.

Ba-dum Tssssssssss

8. “Wanna hear a joke about construction?”

“Hold on, I’m still working on it.”

9. “Wanna hear a joke about paper?”

“Never mind… it’s tearable.”

10. “Did I ever tell you the joke about a pencil?”

“Never mind… there’s no point to it”

11. God said unto John, come fourth and you shall receive eternal life.  But John came fifth and won a toaster.

12. How do trees access the internet?  They log in.

13. I know it’s cheesy, but I feel grate.

14. I just can’t trust an atom… they make up everything.

15. What are two things you can never have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.

16. Where do sick ships go?

The dock

17. In my opinion, Orion’s Belt is just a waist of space.

18. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot

19. What do the Greek use to cut their pizzas?

Little Caesars

20. Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I’m sure I’ve never met herbivore.

BA DUM TSSSSSSSS

you’re welcome.

P.S. If you would like to enjoy more laughter and knee-slapping comedy, follow https://twitter.com/dadtellsjokes.

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