Everyone needs something to relax after a long semester. So why not read some humorous puns and get a good chuckle out? Here are some of my favorites:
Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he wasn't chicken.
Where do you find chili beans? At the North Pole.
There was a man who entered the local newspaper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Who don't penguins fly? They're not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you call a train loaded with taffy? A chew chew train.
What kind of tree do fingers grow on? A palm tree.
What do you call a country where everyone drives a red car? A red carnation.
Energizer Bunny arrested - he got charged with battery.
A pessimist's blood type is always B-.
What do you get from pampered cows? Spoiled milk.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
A backwards poet writes inverse.
Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Because it's two tired.
If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean. Did you hear about the man who lost his left side? He's all right now.
Why did the little boy who was part of the wedding party roar as he walked down the aisle? He was the ring bear.
What do you call two people in an ambulance? A pair of medics.
Where do erasers go for vacation? To Erazona.
Why did the golfer bring two pair of pants to the game? In case he got a hole in one.
All of these puns are taken from JokesClean.com