The B-Word: Tips for Talking BDSM with your SO

Okay, let’s address the elephant in the room. BDSM. Kinda a scary word...er, acronym. But let’s be honest, after Fifty Shades of Grey caused a stir back in 2015, we’ve all been a little curious. So...are you curious but unsure of how to even bring it up, much less convince your partner to give it a try? Here are a few tips:

  1. The first step to this process? Communication, of course! Your partner isn’t going to know your fantasies or curiosities if you don’t tell them. You never know—they may be itching to give it a try as well but are just as nervous to bring it up as you are! I know it may seem like a strange, maybe even awkward, conversation to have, but your SO shouldn’t judge you for starting this conversation. If they do, maybe it’s time to find another boo.

  2. Start small when describing what it is you are interested in trying. It’s easy enough to describe BDSM the way that Christian Grey and Ana Steele portray it, but it’s also a lot for your partner to wrap their head around and, chances are, they might be intimidated. If you really want a taste of BDSM, start out by changing small things the next time you’re getting down in the sheets. Try having your partner tie your hands together with a scarf (or vice versa ;D ) or move their hands up to your neck while doing the deed (again...or vice versa!). If they react well to that, this gives you leverage to talk about taking things further.

  3. Consent is one of the most important aspects of BDSM. Let me say that one more time. Consent is one of the most important aspects of BDSM. It’s important to talk about what is okay and what is not before going deep into the world of BDSM. When talking to your partner about trying new things, make sure to assure them that nothing painful or uncomfortable will be done without their consent. If they know this, they may be more receptive to your suggestions.

One final word of advice: if you do talk to your SO about it, and they still aren’t sure, don’t completely give up hope! They may change their mind! Don’t continuously bug them about it, but if you try dropping hints here and there, they may finally decide to give it a try!

 

Here is a link to a very informative web page that breaks down the acronym “BDSM” and explains the main concepts important to understanding it!

 

If I missed something important or got something wrong, let me know at [email protected]! You can also message me on Twitter @TaylorCabrera97!