It has become increasingly apparent that people are not being given the sex education that they need. On April 5th, SexEd came to SUNY Old Westbury to enlighten students on sex. The Founder and Director of SexEd Liz Slagus and Co-Director Norene Leddy talked about the lack of sex education in our society. In middle school and high school, sex education is limited to condom hand-outs and STD scares. Protection is indeed crucial because it prevents us from getting STD’s, STI’s and unwanted pregnancy. Additionally, these horrors are so greatly emphasized in sex education starting in middle school. What is not taught in schools is that sex can actually be pleasurable when it is carried out and agreed upon by two parties. Also, there is an important process of reaching pleasure that we are not taught; the process of stimulation! The ladies and their needs are especially left out of the conversation. Kids need to know and better understand consent, an agreement between to people to have sex. Oxford Dictionary defines consent as “permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.” There needs to be a verbal agreement between you and your partner and as we see over and over again, some are misunderstood about what this entails. The concept of “no means no” should be completely common knowledge, starting at a young age. The following video demonstrates how the Co-Directors of SexEd believe that sex should be educated.
Since we are not explained about the pleasure in sex and how to attain it equally, many people turn to pornography. The Co-Directors say, “pornography is not sex education, and sex is not only intercourse.” Pornography is not real! There is a lot of preparation before the videos are made. The characters are prepared to look good on camera, plus they might seem like they’re enjoying themselves but most of the time, they are faking it. Most pornography is generally geared for the male gaze and representation of women is often inaccurate and misogynistic. It leads to unrealistic expectations that only result in let downs rather than portrayals of the actual beauty that can come! The video below has clearer demonstration of how pornography and real life sex differentiate.
Students in a Women and Media class here at SUNY Old Westbury also got acquainted with a new approach to pornography recently by video chatting with Cindy Gallup, founder of MakeLoveNotPorn. The site features real life people making real love driven by real feelings. It’s intended for everyone, minus any societal gender expectations!
Many people in our society view sex as shameful when in fact, it’s important to know that sex is pleasurable; it’s a fun and beautiful feeling. It’s one of the more ultimate of connections that you can have with another person. Everyone experiences sexual pleasure in their own way; nobody’s way better than another’s. The beauty in sex is that you also get to learn more about yourself physically and mentally. Opening up this conversation will only bring us all happy, safer, and more equal sex!