I’m sure I’m not the first girl who’s ever had a crush while in college. Crushes, dating, and relationships are all different ball games once we’re on a college campus. I’ll be honest, it sucks liking someone and wondering if they like me back.
Once I came to the realization that I liked one of my very good friends, I felt overwhelmed. I didn’t want to make things awkward for us, especially since I valued my friendship with him so much. But I realized that I had to be honest with him. I couldn’t just tip-toe around the feelings and pretend they weren’t there. Being honest is so so important.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
I didn’t go into this conversation thinking we would date. I didn’t set high expectations for the conversation we would have. I just knew I had to tell him. I wrote him a letter, mostly because I was so afraid to tell him how I felt. I slid it into my purse and forgot about it for a while.
We sat down and had coffee one morning. We talked for a while about other things going on in our lives and then I brought it up. I calmly explained my feelings to him. I didn’t dance around it or drop subtle hints. I just told him. I’ll be honest, laying it all out on the line is painful. Being vulnerable about your feelings to someone else is so hard. But guys don’t like to play games and frankly, it’s so stressful when you’re playing games.
He needed time to think about what I had told him. He had to process it and I felt relieved that he didn’t get up and leave or freak out. We were both calm and honest with each other. That was crucial. I still ended up giving him the letter because it better explained my awkward ramblings.
I’ll admit that I’m not some love expert and don’t have overwhelming amounts of success in that department. Confronting feelings and putting them into action is scary and difficult. I won’t dance around that.
A few weeks later, we had coffee again. We both talked about it and he got his turn to be honest. We were too good of friends and that he wasn’t in a place he wanted to be in a relationship. I felt relieved. He knew how I felt, I know how he felt. The best part is that our friendship hasn’t changed. We still hang out and talk all the time like nothing has happened.
Not every conversation will go the way it did for us. But, I stand behind what I did. I am happy I told him and I’m glad I was honest with someone about how I felt. It sucked to leave wondering if our friendship would stand the test of time, but it did.
The best advice I could ever give is to be honest. There is so much power in honesty— it might suck or change the way you interact with someone. I’d rather be honest than wonder if I should have told him.