How to Survive a Long-Distance Best Friendship

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

A lot of us were lucky enough to find a really good friend in high school.  For me, that person is my best friend Kendall. Kendall and I have a funny backstory on how we became friends, but long story short we actually hated each other first. However, what once was hate is now a love for my best friend. What makes things hard now isn’t the fact of whether we like each other though…it’s the fact that we are over 1200 miles apart. I wouldn't change a lot about going to school at OU but one thing I would change is having her close. But no matter the distance we still are always there for each other. Check out these tips, inspired by the B to my S (Gossip Girl reference for those who are confused), on how to survive a long-distance best friendship!

 

1.    Put the time in when you can

Now that you are away from each other, it’s going to take a little more effort to keep the same friendship going! The thing with long-distance friendships is there’s no more “oh I’ll just swing by their place for a bit” or a quick Starbucks run.  Just like couples in a long-distance relationship, it takes effort, care and affection towards your bestie.

 

2.    Spend time together when you go home

Just because you both aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean that when you DO get to see each other you have to still stay distant!  When you get the chance, spend time together! Do what you used to when you were at each other’s sides. Go to your favorite restaurants, go get coffee, whatever it is…be together.  Quality time when you get it so critical because it rebuilds what you were used to before getting to spend endless amounts of time together.

 

3.    Remember the little things that kept you close when you were together

For my best friend Kendall and I, we have the little things we remember that keep us close…and every once and a while we just remind each other of that.  For us we use nicknames, but it really can be anything: tv shows, movies, songs, etc. This is always a great convo for you both because not only can you remember the good times you had then but it keeps the connection between you two real.  

 

4.    It’s okay to miss each other

You can’t deny your situation.  While it may be upsetting, it is the truth.  Sometimes you may feel lost or disappointed that you aren’t right by each other anymore but it’s going to be okay.  It’s normal to miss people you are used to spending a lot of time with. I miss Kendall every single day. And it’s okay to let them know!  But don’t dwell upon it or you’ll miss what’s going on in front of you! Enjoy your distance and when you get to see each other again it will be worth the wait.

 

5.    Don’t feel as though you have to talk every second of the day

Okay okay we all want the super quick responses nowadays.  It’s just our generation. And it’s okay! But understand that we are in college and we have lives outside of each other now.  Someone may not have time to reply just yet but as your bestie, they will get back to you as soon as they can. Side note on this one…just because you haven’t talked in a while doesn’t mean you guys aren’t friends. It is a perfect time to catch up! Reach out to them and make that connection again.

 

6.    Celebrate each other

When something goes right in the other person’s life make sure they know you are happy for them! This takes effort but it’s nothing different from what you would have done at home.  It just shows you truly care about them! Keep up with each other’s lives apart from your friendship, such as sororities, sports, relationships, family, school. It is a really simple tip that doesn’t take much more than a text, a snap, a Twitter DM, shoot even an email if you’re really feeling lovable that day.  

 

7.    Share stories

This one ties in with the last tip.  But it’s really important. You have to be able to keep up with each other’s lives outside of the friendship. Keeping up with these things will not only strengthen your friendship but will also make the other person feel more comfortable to share.  You shared stories when you were together, so why on earth would you just stop because you’re farther away now? Your bestie knows you best (duh) and that is why they’re called your bestie. So more often than not, they want to know what’s going on, how you’re doing and what gossip you have for them today.  

 

8.    Send funny snaps/pictures/DM’s

To quote Matthew McConaughey, “Alright. Alright. Alright.”  I know this sounds suuuuuuper simple, but making sure that you keep laughter and happiness within the relationship is CRITICAL.  If you spend all your time being sad about how far you are from each other, eventually the friendship will become draining for both of you and it won’t be as fun to keep that relationship going. I know that when I see “Kendall shared a tweet with you” pop up on my phone I always get excited for a good laugh or smile.

 

9.    Love them endlessly

Finally, make sure they know you care.  This doesn’t have a lot to it from my side because it depends on your friendship. Whether it’s a text, a call, facetime, DM, snap, whatever your means of communication, make sure it is genuine. You had a genuine friendship when you were together and now it’s even more important now that you are apart. Just as it is important to love yourself, make sure you give your bestie some love.  They deserve it from the person who loves them most.

 

I hope these tips helped you and your bestie in your long-distance friendship. Just know that your bestie will always be there for you no matter how far you away from each you are.

And last but not least, thank you B for these lessons over the past year and a half.  I miss you more than you know but know that you are thriving. I love you! <3