Dear “Nice” Guys,
I received your message. Yes, I received your second one too. And I even received every one after that!
I have a few notes.
Firstly, are you psychic? Do you have some supernatural ability to read people? You must be since you seem to know just how perfect you are for me, despite not knowing anything about me at all. You even know just how badly my boyfriend treats me, and how better you would treat me if I would only just give you a chance (cue Shawn Mendez)! Shockingly, you’re even able to know about my subconscious desire to be mistreated by all of those Bad Guys. Please share your mind reading secrets!!
Second, do you realize how painfully obvious your objectification of women is? You seem to treat our gender like you are entitled to our attention. Hey after all you are a nice guy, right? You deserve nice things. Your anger at being rejected makes sense when you consider how wrong it is to not receive the object you deserve and are entitled to. Women are just pretty things reserved for the nicest of men, right?
Thirdly, I’m not sure what kind of response you’re even after. You claim you just want honesty and yet when I tactfully tell you I’m not interested, suddenly I am no longer a beautiful girl who is worthy of your attention. I am now an attention seeking slut who deserves to be raped. But when I let you down easy by telling you I have a boyfriend or that I am interested in someone else, I am a fat bitch who deserves to have her heart broken. Besides the blatant contradictions (that fat bitch is the same beauty you just begged to go out with), the intended outcome is unclear. Do you really think insulting me is going to change my mind? Hint: insulting me will definitely insure that I don’t reconsider.
While I still have many more questions, I figure you might need a little advice.
Nice guys do not finish last. Do you know who finishes last? Guys who only define themselves as ‘nice’ and think that is enough. I’ll let you in on a little secret: anyone can be nice. The fact that you think you are polite or well-intended isn’t really that special. Besides, you don’t really seem all that nice.
So I ask: What is special about you? Are you funny? Intellectual? Maybe you make a killer grilled cheese? I know this may be hard for you to believe but women are complex creatures who crave that same complexity in our partners. We want someone we can laugh with, argue with, grow with. And no that is not just code for ‘attractive’. We don’t want you to hold the door for us and compliment us and think that’s enough.
My advice? Find what makes you special and interesting and make that a priority over being ‘nice’. Respect women and take rejection gracefully.
And god forbid please stop whining.
Sincerely, Everyone.