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Now that summer is getting closer a lot of relationships are changing. Long-distance relationships take the brunt of the complications for college relationships. There’s two main types of long-distance relationships in college. There’s the one where you were dating back home and now spend the majority of your nine months at school not seeing each other. The other kind is where you met in college and now are spending your first substantial amount of time apart. Here are some changes both types of LDRs can expect and how to adjust to the changes.
Hometown Sweethearts
In high school when you first started dating you probably saw each other multiple times a day in between class.
Since you came to college you’ve adjusted to being independent while still being a couple. That adjustment period happened back in August and hasn’t been a huge issue since. Now you have to readjust to being around your significant other and respecting their opinions.
One of those opinions will be what you do with your time and who you hang out with. While away at college your significant other probably voiced their opinion about parties you wanted to go to and friends you were making. For the most part you were able to appease them and then forget about it. After all, they weren’t here to actually stop you.
Now you might have to weigh their feeling more heavily on issues like where you go on Saturday night. This could be an easy adjustment for some. Those couples will naturally go back to being in sync like they were before they separated for school. Other couple will find themselves feeling stifled and unable to be independent.
One way to combat this would be to wait it out. In two or three months you’ll be back at school where it won’t matter as much what your partner thinks. This way is only a temporary fix though. If you want your relationship to work in the long-run you have to find a strategy for coexisting both as a couple and as individuals.
One strategy might be acknowledging that you will develop different friend groups. You also need to acknowledge that sometimes someone else can see your new friends more clearly than you can. You don’t have to take your partners word on it absolutely, but you should take their concerns seriously.
College Couple
Some college couples met at the beginning of the fall semester and have been inseparable ever since. Others may have just started a relationship recently and are worried about keeping a relationship going over the summer.
One of the main things to remember is that summer is a very short time compared to the school year you spend together. That affects your relationship in two ways. The first way being that you won’t be separated for an extended period of time. So you can hopefully enjoy your vacation and meet back up in the fall. The other way is that if you’re a new couple and decide to take a break over the summer, you may find that the break was unnecessary.
For those couples that choose not to stay together while apart during the summer, they might find that when they return next semester they can’t start the relationship back up. Two months isn’t as long as it seems when you’ve been waiting for it all year.
New couples should take the time apart to get used to the idea of being in a relationship. Odds are you haven’t gotten completely used to each other yet, this will make a separation easier because you are still completely independent from each other.
Couples that have been together for most of the year will have the opposite problem. It’s a lot like how high school couples adjusted to being apart in August, except by the time you’ve adjusted you’ll be back together.
One way to combat the separation is simply by staying in touch like you would normally. When at school you probably text or call each other daily. The only difference during the summer is you can’t meet in person. You can still talk about your day and set up Skype calls.
One thing for all long-distance couples to remember is that at some point you will see each other again. Don’t disregard their opinions or advice just because they aren’t physically there with you, but also don’t become so accustomed to their presence that you lose the ability to be an individual.