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8 Ways To Know He’s Not Into You

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at OK State chapter.

 

  1. Does he text you first often?

Think back to most of the conversations with your significant other. Are you the one who leads most of the conversation? Do you find yourself avoiding your phone so you aren’t tempted to text him first? If a guy wants you ladies, it is pretty obvious. He will put forth effort. It’s not only him not texting first either; what are y’all’s text conversations about? Does he reply back with a quick “k”, “lol” or “yeah”? No one knows how to reply to that for a reason, it’s a conversation ender. If a guy isn’t starting the conversation or keeping the conversation going, then maybe he’s just not into you.

 

  1. Does he introduce you as his friend?

We all know rushing into a relationship is never a good thing, but is there such thing as taking it to slow? There sure is. If you have been informally dating a guy for months and he still introduces you as his friend, then he might not be into you, but on the bright side at least you are meeting his friends so it might not be a total loss. Some girls haven’t even met their guy’s friends. If you are one of those girls remember this, if a guy likes a girl he wants to flaunt her around to his friends, just like a girl would want to do the same with hers.

 

  1. Is social media posts a one-sided thing?

The new era of social media has made it a lot easier to see if a guy is into you, and it’s a lot easier to see if a guy is into another girl. Go to your guy’s twitter, Instagram or Facebook, are there any direct post about you? Or are they vague like “missing her” but you’re not sure who “her” is. Do you post stuff about him way more than he post stuff about you? Or maybe he just isn’t a relationship social media person and he only talks about sports and to his friends on social media. The biggest thing is, if you guys have taken pictures together, has he posted any pictures of you and him? Simple things like that are ways to see if he’s into you or not.

 

  1. When, or IF, he calls, is it pretty late?

Ladies, ladies, ladies… let’s not be naive to the face that we all know what booty call hours are. If a guy calls you to come over past midnight, he doesn’t have a romantic dinner planned out. We all know what he wants. Right about know you are probably in denial. Oh, he was at work and didn’t get home late? I’m sure if that was you, you would text on your lunch break. Or maybe he was out late studying and he just got home? But he’s been tweeting all day. If the first time he contacts you all day is past 10 p.m., he might just be into you sexually.

 

  1. Does he avoid serious questions?

I’ve definitely dated this kind of guy, I think we have all dated this kind of guy, the one who avoids serious questions. The one who refuses to make plans, long or short whether it is movies next week or celebrating your birthday in a year. Is he the kind of guy who avoids the answer to serious questions, gets quiet when a serious question is brought up, or gets defensive when you call him out on either? More than likely, he isn’t making long or short term plans with you because he doesn’t see himself being around you for much longer.

 

  1. Does he frequently talk about his ex?

Has anyone ever had a guy who isn’t over his ex girlfriend, but she’s moved on so it’s sort of like you’re the rebound? If so, get out when you can because in all actuality if he ever had the chance to go back with his ex he probably would. More than likely he’s the one that messed up anyway. If it is that kind of guy, he will usually frequently compare you to her. Or maybe it’s not an ex, maybe it’s a close friend whom he always talks about. Like non-stop. I’m not saying guys and girls cannot be close friends, all I’m saying is if his eyes light up when he talks about her more than when he talks about you then be cautious.

 

  1. Have you guys ever had a formal date?

Many people say chivalry is dead, but it’s mainly because as women we let it die. It’s like no one goes on formal dates anymore. Usually your first date consist of you meeting up for drinks or watching movies at someone’s house, which could lead to other problems. Meeting up for drinks is the easiest way for a guy to claim that he didn’t know you wanted to be more than friends even if he picks up the tab; it’s sort of a cheap date. Both of those so-called-dates are things you do with friends. A formal date consist of you getting dolled up, him actually putting forth effort in his attire and you guys going somewhere together, alone and in public where you can get to know each other. Don’t let him take the easy way out at least for the first like two dates.

 

  1. Does he ever encourage you to date other people?

Last, but certainly not least, does he ever encourage you to date other people or even suggest hooking you up with someone? That is something a friend does for another friend. Granted in might be a test, but more than likely he’s hinting at the fact that this is nothing more than a friendship. Although you might laugh it off, give him a nudge and ignore the offer, he probably was serious. It could be a test, it could be a hint, but if you really liked someone would you even suggest hooking him up with another girl? If you still aren’t sure the next time something like this comes up, accept the offer. If he gets mad, laugh it off, give him a nudge, tell him it was a joke and respectfully tell him don’t offer anymore. If he starts to give you someone’s number, then he’s just not into you.

 

Ladies, remember no matter how good of a woman you are, you will never be good enough for a man who isn’t ready, or a man who is just not into you.