What to Do If You and Your Best Friend Do Not Go to the Same College

One of the most rewarding decisions you can make is choosing the right college for you and not letting others' decisions and outside opinions outweigh your own wants and needs. Like with every choice, there are effects that follow your decision, both good and bad. Sometimes choosing the perfect school for you can pull you away from your best friend. 

The true test of friendship is seeing what it can withstand. A true friendship is with someone who understands you, accepts you, loves you, and no matter how much time has passed, you grow together. There is a balance in life. You need to grow and change internally as well as in external surroundings. Sometimes that includes friendships. Making new lifelong friends and sharing new experiences is essential but having that best friend bond is irreplaceable.

For many, a best friend is someone they like to talk to every day and share their experiences with, but that is not always an option, especially as we grow older. A true best friend should be someone you cannot talk to for a few days or even weeks, yet it feels as if no time has passed when you reconnect. There are a number of ways to stay connected with your best friend as you navigate your college lives separately.

  1. 1. Utilize Facetime and Video Chatting

    Woman with curly hair waving and saying hi to someone through her laptop.

    Nothing beats being in person, of course, but being able to see their face as you talk and catch up is a pretty close second. Facetiming allows you to connect with them face-to-face, even when you are several miles apart. The conversation can be as simple as a five-minute quick catch up or a two-hour deep dive. Both are a great alternative to sending a quick text because you get the added bonus of seeing their face and expressions.

  2. 2. Send Letters Back and Forth

    white paper with letters "love letters"

    Nothing is more personal than a handwritten letter or card. Just something that says “hi, just thinking of you,” that you wrote out shows how much you care. Especially now, when our generation relies so heavily on technology and the Internet, we at times lose touch with our personal sides. A letter or card could mean so much is because it takes the extra time of handwriting it out, sending it in the mail, waiting for them to get it, and then waiting for the response.

  3. 3. Plan Visits to Each Other’s Colleges

    Picture of two friends in back of car

    You will need little breaks here and there, and you deserve them. Planning visits to each other’s college is a great way to keep connected. It gives you both something to look forward to as you live your respective lives away at college. Bringing your best friend into your new world is special and allows you both to see how well the other is doing.

  4. 4. Make Plans for the Future

    Amelia Kramer-Coffee Shop Friend Date

    You will not be at school all year long, and you have time off between semesters as well as during the semesters. Another great thing to plan for is winter and summer breaks. Make plans that you can look forward to at the end of the semester when you have free time to unwind and fully allow yourself to catch up on where you both are at in life. This also allows you to revisit some milestones from your life before college and reminisce about where you were and where you’re going.

College is an adjustment period where you grow as an individual, and being at the right college is a key part of your growth. A challenge that arises is having to say goodbye to your best friend if you choose different colleges, but it isn’t really “goodbye.” It’s more of a “see you later.” Just because you grow as a person doesn’t mean you have to outgrow your best friend. As long as you both put in the work to keep the friendship alive, it can withstand the distance.