What is the famed Battle of the Sexes? Is it the clash over our assumed gender responsibilities? Like how cleaning and cooking are supposedly activities women invented to support men’s hobbies of making a mess and eating.
Even little kids know that, “Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider and girls go to college to get more knowledge.” Looking around campus, I don’t get the feeling that there has been a mass-male migration to outer space, but I do find myself thinking like a 5-year-old in that boys have cooties while girls are all sugar and spice.
We endure the toilet seat saluting, I think and what saints we are for not screaming and throwing a fit each time. How nice it would be if Alex would quiet his blaring music before leaving for the night, but not everyone can be made of everything nice like us. The more I start thinking, though, the more I have to admit and give credit to Alex for tolerating the two of us. Here’s the top four reasons why:
Chaotic Mess: At first it was just my room. Clothes strewn and piled, mixed with books, pens, newspapers and the occasional painful tack. It was my fault, it was my mess and it interfered with no one except Emily when she stumbled over a shoe to confirm her outfit in the full-length mirror on the back of my door. Then I went home and brought back a whole new tub of clothes, which has been sitting outside my door for more than a week. From the tub I moved to my couch, where I routinely plop my book bag and empty UPS boxes. I think I even have a pair of pink socks floating around the living room. To top it all off, I expect everyone to ignore it until I clean it…eventually.
The Kitchen Sink: There’s nothing more satisfying than the sight of clean dishes neatly lined up inside the cupboard. It’s a beautiful sight, but not necessarily common. Alex has barely any dishes and prefers resorting to paper and plastic dinnerware that he can easily throw away. Emily and I, on the other hand, revel in everything permanent. With Halloween approaching, we bought four pumpkin cups and four green spider cups. Each trip to the Dollar Tree results in at least two new wine glasses. Margarita glasses for 59 cents? Why not? The beauty of so many cups and glasses? Well, first off there’s the choices. When deciding between blue or green, I usually choose green unless I’m feeling fancy and then I lean toward the classy glass polka dot option. Secondly, it takes a while before we need to wash dishes when it’s easier to reach for a clean cup. The downside is that our sink is often unsightly and overflowing with cups and glasses.
I’M NOT YELLING. I’ve mentioned how insanely thin our walls have proven to be, but still we rarely whisper and seem to have misplaced our “inside” voices. It doesn’t matter if we’re debating the weather and which season Athens has chosen for the day or if we’re verbally noting that we need more paper towels––we’re loud. We talk loudly, laugh loudly and scream at the sight of leggy spiders in the same manner. Alex recently has regularly secluded himself in his room, blanketed with an eardrum-bursting TV volume. The thought has crossed my mind that maybe he’s just trying to tune us out. I couldn’t tell you why. Perhaps he doesn’t find our in-depth evaluation of our philosophy teacher’s outfit or our fanatical reminiscence of Arthur as interesting as we do. (Emily has a very determined dislike of Francine and if anyone can offer a theory on what animal Brain is supposed to be, we’re all ears.)
Glee Project, here we come! When Emily and I drive to Wal-Mart for our grocery shopping, we blare the radio and we sing our hearts out. Although the windows are rolled up, we still get some unappreciative looks. I only list that as a fault because of those looks. When we’re in the kitchen and the urge grabs us, we blast the song we’re currently enamored with—this week it’s Adele’s “Someone Like You”—and sing loudly and not always in tune. Come to think of it, we’re fairly annoying to live with.