Truth is, we’ve all been called a bitch before. It may have been to our faces or behind our backs, but at the end of the day, it’s happened. This terminology has a negative connotation most of the time, but then again how many times have your friends used the phrase to describe you in a joking or supportive way? We’ve all told our BFF’s they’re a hot bitch on a night out while trying to support them when that cute boy across the bar is oblivious to their existence.
So why is it so degrading when used to describe work ethic or a personality trait? For example, when a male is bossy or controlling, he is rewarded with the terms assertive, authoritative and a leader, but when a female is controlling, demanding or assertive, it is frowned upon. She is then termed as an unapologetic bitch because she knows what she wants and how to get it, and the truth is she isn’t afraid. She’s un-phased.
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I personally have been coined with this term by previous bosses, friends and even my own mother once. At first, this infuriated me. I’m one of the nicest, good-doing people I know. I volunteer, I bend over backwards to help my friends and family and I’m always trying my best to be selfless. Yet, here I am time and time again being broken down for my authoritative actions.
Being a bitch isn’t always a bad thing. Over many years, and yes I mean many years, I’ve grown to accept it when people tell me I’m bossy and controlling. I could easily lay low and have others walk all over me, making me take orders and be pushed around by someone else. However, this is a life I never wanted. It’s important to realize that being empowered and taking initiative isn’t selfish or rude. Being authoritative and believing you are right isn’t a reason to be bashed either. Sometimes, being a called a bitch is because you are a strong, independent woman, and that should be accepted.
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Sure, there are other reasons to use the term, both negative and positive, but these should be taken differently based on context. When someone is whiney and complains about everything under the sun, the term is used and should be negative. That’s not acceptable and there should be a distinction between the two. On the flip side, a bitch can be used in a way to empower your friends and let them know they’re flawless, perfect. Keeping these uses separated is extremely important, if not just as important as knowing when to not take offense to the terminology.
So, the next time that someone tells you you’re a heartless bitch because you care about individual success, you’re authoritative or you’re simply a female with strong leadership skills make sure to embrace it. Don’t give up your spunky attitude because you gave in to the negative connotations of the whiney brats who don’t care about others. Instead, be proud of who you are, because you’ve become an independent and intelligent woman who doesn’t let anyone walk over her. Just remember to live up to that and own it in a respectful way… I know I’m proud.
Sincerely,
A bitch.