Before you judge me on the title of the article, hear me out. The reasons I am proud of myself are good, and I hope every woman in a similar position feels the same way.
I’ll start by saying that before this past month, I had four partners, each of which I had some sort of relationship with, whether it be serious, or casual. I always hated when I got another number because I thought it was taking away my innocence and it would hurt me in the future. I felt comfortable with the people I had been with, so I tended to stay with them, even after a relationship would end (don’t do this – it brings up actual emotions). I was very careful with choosing who I wanted to be with, and that was great until about two months ago when I decided I needed some sort of change.
Photo courtesy: sexual-fu.com
I haven’t been in a relationship for several months now, and I don’t intend on being in one anytime soon. I came to the revelation that there will probably never be another time like college to get out there and just have fun hooking up with no strings attached. I was always torn between keeping my number low and letting myself have fun, and it has come time for me to let loose for a little. In the past month, I have doubled my the amount of my sexual partners from four to eight, and I am proud of it. Here’s why:
My body positivity spiked.
I have always battled with my body because I felt like it wasn’t good enough. I thought the sight of my stripped down skin would cause a man to say he didn’t want to have a sexual encounter with me. I avoided taking off articles of clothing to hide what I felt was undesirable. I still have those feelings of self-doubt, but after my month of adventure, I realized that I take care of my body best I can. I eat right (at least I try to) and exercise regularly. I keep up with my hygiene and I have fun with makeup and hairstyles. I may not be the ideal body type, but I am still a beautiful woman and I deserve to have as much fun as someone more fit than I am. Hearing praise from the guys (though I shouldn’t need anyone’s approval) made me feel like a rockstar! My insecurities faded and my body positivity spiked through the roof! I love my body now more than ever before and I am proud to say that.
My confidence doubled.
Throughout the past month, I have found myself smiling more and saying happier comments. I have felt much more flirtatious through text, social media, and in person. I’m allowing myself to laugh wholeheartedly and bat my eyelashes playfully. I have been involved with a few guys while wearing no makeup and still getting compliments, making me feel all over beautiful. My head is held higher and my strut is more powerful. I have felt better in almost all aspects of my life, and it has been a wonderful feeling that I hope to continue!
Photo courtesy: kellyseal.com
My stories got better.
As silly as this sounds, I love talking to people and being social, so I have been able to express my outings with my best friends, and of course, through this article. Before this past month, I felt like I didn’t have cool stories of Tinder hookups or sexual sleepovers, but now I do. It’s become typical for Sunday mornings to turn into a gab fest with my BFF over the cute guys we texted all night or the one that stayed over. I feel like those are times with my BFF that create memories that will last a lifetime. It has also allowed me to open up more and talk about sex in a very positive way, instead of it being a taboo.
I don’t know what the future of hooking up looks like quite yet. The semester is winding down and people are heading home or to real careers, so my options will be slimmer. I, of course, will continue to be safe in my sexual endeavors and highly encourage everyone else to do so. As of now, I still feel on top on the world with my confidence and body image, and I hope every other woman in this situation feels the good from it. There is nothing to be ashamed about and as long as it is all in good fun, keep doing you, girls. Create your own story. ;)