This weekend is dedicated to all of the Bobcat Dads out there. It didn’t even cross my mind that it was dad’s weekend until a fellow classmate asked me, “Is your dad coming for dad’s weekend?” I had to think about it for a minute, and replied with a simple “nah”. In reality, my dad is too sick to make it to dad’s weekend, or to even visit me this year.
For most of my life, my dad has been sick. Not with cancer or anything like that, but with an auto-immune disease that affects his muscles. It’s such a rare disease that he’s been through countless procedures and tests to try to make him better. Nothing has really worked. His health started to decline rapidly within the past year. After a pacemaker was inserted into his heart and his hip was replaced with titanium, my family thought his health would begin to improve.
Little did we know that something else was wrong. We found out this July that my dad was in dire need of a double lung transplant. We were told it was an all-or-nothing type of thing. Without it, it would be likely he could not make it a year more with his lungs in the condition they were in. MRI’s and countless tests showed both lungs looking like steel wool. He was placed on oxygen 24/7.
I think my family changed after that. We looked at each holiday wondering if it would be the last one with Dad…not knowing how long the transplant process could take. It was nerve wracking when he’d get sick. His immune system isn’t really strong enough to handle even a common cold. We had to get used to him being in bed as early as 8 o’clock some nights (he was always a night owl). Also, our dad, the high school athlete, muscular guy, had no appetite, causing him to lose more than 60 pounds. Wearing winter coats, hats, and gloves in the house was a new wardrobe for him as well. Without enough oxygen circulating through his body, he was constantly cold.
Being here at school kept my mind busy. The hardest part of all of it was going home to see how much he deteriorated in health between each visit. I felt conflicted in if I should stay in school, or if I should take time off to be with my family to help deal with all of this.
The six week winter break came along and I was excited to go home. I made sure to spend a little bit of time with my dad everyday, whether it was watching a football game on TV or helping him pick out a new pair of glasses. It was a struggle to see him on his ‘bad’ days. The days where he didn’t get out of bed because he was too sick. For Christmas, he received a lot of new clothes. My mom got him a few pairs of jeans, and he had said to me that he hadn’t been able to fit into that jean size since high school.
Returning for winter quarter was probably one of the hardest decisions I had to make. If I took time off, I could save money that could be put towards all of the testing he goes through and the transplant. I didn’t want to leave my mom to take care of everything at home, and my younger brothers needed someone to talk to. I decided to come back because I knew it would make my dad proud. He loved his time at Ohio University, and he knows that I’m doing the same.
Recently, we got some refreshing news. My dad made it through all of the testing, and with just a few more things to worry about, he was officially placed on the transplant list, and at the top of it, too. This is such a relief to my family. Now, we just have to play the waiting game to see when and if a match for him comes along. My dad will continue to struggle everyday until he receives the transplant, and for months after that he’ll face challenges. This is all needed. It’s basically life or death.
As much as I would love for my dad to be here this weekend (and he would love it, too) I understand that it’s just not possible. I think about my dad everyday. No matter how weak he may be now, he has been- and always will be- the strongest man in my life. I know that my family will continue to hold his hand through this agonizing process, but together we’ll make it.
photo courtesy of Lauren Koketko