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Baseball Butts: The Holy Grail

Dear Baseball Boys,

It’s that time of year again where we, as women, cheer you all on when you play America’s favorite pastime. We defend you when an umpire makes a terrible call. We obnoxiously scream in excitement when you hit the baseball right out of the park or when you strike the opponent’s best hitter out. We are all there for you, boys, and we encourage you to keep doing what you’re doing best.

To return the favor of supporting you through every game and every practice, you must support our obsession with your glorious butts in your best pair of baseball pants. It’s been a long and cold winter. We have been waiting for opening day for too long. Please work extra hard to keep your glutes in shape for us and we will truly thank you.

We like baseball butts and we seriously cannot deny.

Never, EVER skip leg day at the gym…

because we would not be able to appreciate all of the hard work you put into your behind.

Hey, I think you may have dropped something…Whatever it was, fell right in front of you. Do you think you could bend over and pick up please?

Please show us your ready stance.

Make sure you are prepared for the game by stretching. Please stretch every muscle for however long you would like.

I think your whole entire team should lean up against the dugout’s fence. Please and thank you.

Sincerely,

All women who have ever been to at least one baseball game in their entire lives.

 

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." -James Dean. E.W. Scripps School of Journalism kid. Avid explorer. Puppy (and all things fluffy) lover.  Twitter: @Taylor_Stano & Instagram: @TayStano
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