Deep down, everybody loves their family, but come holiday season, they can be a bit too much to handle. Start preparing to see these long-lost relatives now, and maybe you won’t have to spend your Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities hiding in the basement.
The Random That Nobody Actually Knows
You see this person at every family gathering. Each of your relatives know her, but not a single person can explain the actual relation. “Oh yeah, she’s your cousin’s stepmom’s aunt’s sister.” Even though she can’t be traced through the family tree, this relative usually has some pretty interesting stories, so it might even be worth it to talk to her for a little while.
The New Baby
Your cousin just had her first child, and now she’s been parading around all night showing him or her off. This little bundle of joy was cute for the first twenty minutes or so, but now it’s crying and needs its diaper changed. Most likely, you’re the victim chosen for the task. Good luck, and just remember that you might get a tip at the end of the night for having the task of babysitter forced upon you!
The Drunk Uncle
Uncle Tim was fun at the beginning of the night (kind of like the baby), but now his stories are inappropriate and you have to turn the TV all the way up to hear the football game over his booming voice. He’s had one too many and everyone knows it. Luckily, he’ll probably pass out on the couch in 10-15 minutes, so just avoid him until that happens.
The Cousin Who Thinks She’s Better Than You
We get it, Cassie. You have perfect skin, your boyfriend bought you the most beautiful necklace for Christmas, you’re on the Dean’s List, and Grandma offered to pay for your summer trip to Italy. NOW SHUT UP. Unfortunately, not much can be done about Cassie, but if you make enough sarcastic comments toward her perfect life, she might get the hint and go annoy someone else.
The Senile Grandpa
Perhaps the best of the crazy family members, Grandpa always means well. Despite his post-traumatic stress disorder from the war that periodically causes him to ‘take cover,’ he always winks at you in the sweetest way and makes sure you get the first piece of pumpkin pie. Plus he has some crazy-awesome sweaters and probably wouldn’t even notice if you happened to take one home with you.
You might not be familiar with all of these unique folks, but chances are you know one or two. So come out of your room, the basement, or wherever you were hiding and embrace their weirdness. After all, they are your family, and you’re most likely stuck with them for a while.