The cliché that ‘relationships end because people stop doing the things they did to get you’ is sadly true. I personally have been in, and helped friends through, quite a few relationships from middle school until now (I’m 20) and I’ve seen and experienced this tragedy myself. So, I’m gonna tell you how to keep the sparks of the honeymoon stage popping throughout your entire relationship.
According to Rev. Elizabeth Ritzman from the National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapist, the honeymoon stage usually last around 6 months. During this stage we try to present our best self to our partner in hopes of being everything they want and more. However, once we get settled and comfortable in our relationships many of us stop presenting our best self and fall into bad habits of doing the bare minimum.
Like I said in part one of our relationship building series, we make relationships much harder than they need to be! When falling in love, for whatever reason, we’re often our own worst enemy.
We try so hard to get the attention of our crush because that stage is easy. There isn’t much required because there aren’t any expectations yet. Once the honeymoon stage is over we and get comfortable in the relationship we act like it’s such a hassle to keep them happy.
The key to staying happy in a relationship is to never let the honeymoon stage end! Obviously as time passes you’re going to get used to things but you can’t ever treat your partner like they’re regular. You can’t let the things that made you fall in love grow to annoy you. You absolutely can not EVER find comfort in someone other than your partner. As soon as arguments start we love to run to twitter or the next person willing to listen but that’s not how you solve the problem!
No relationship is going to be perfect so you have to understand that you guys are going to argue and be willing to work things out. Turning to anyone else when you and your signoficant other argue will only open the door for someone to squeeze in and try to push you guys apart. Also, no one can solve you all’s problems other than the two of you. Twitter isn’t a therapist and your followers don’t care about your problems!! When people see that things are going bad they’re gonna think your relationship is weak.
In order to get through the period of time when the honeymoon stage is ending you must remember these steps!
1. Don’t focus on the negative!
An argument isn’t the end of the world! Remember all the great times and reasons you fell in love instead and work to get back to that instead of throwing in the towel!
2. Don’t confide in others!
This is an important step because the quickest way to end a relationship is to involve too many people. As I said, no one can fix your problems except you and your partner. So, talk to them and work things out together. Sometimes you may have to agree to disagree but that’s better than giving up on the relationship entirely!
3. Don’t let your fears ruin things!
One big problem in relationships today is that everyone gets scared of being played! While this is understandable, it’s a risk that’s involved with any relationship. If you really like someone, don’t let fear get in the way of that.
Every relationship is going to have problems but if you truly love or even just really like someone it’s worth trying to work through them. Arguments are only minor things in the story of a relationship so don’t let small bumps in the road stop you from enjoying the journey or reaching the destination!