With the final film of the Fifty Shades of Grey series, Fifty Shades Freed, being released in theatres on Feb. 9th and with Valentine’s Day just behind us, now would be the perfect time to talk about how much we hate Christian Grey. However, if you DON’T hate Christian Grey, then you will soon because I am going to give you several reasons as to why he would make the worst possible valentine. I mean come on ladies, at some point, you’re gonna have to look past his six pack and realize that the guy is a total psycho!
1. He’s basically a stalker
Okay, so since when has it been considered “romantic” to know your significant others every move? Like showing up at their place of work uninvited or giving them a new laptop and phone so that you can track where they’re going and what they’re doing?
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2. He’s a control freak
This one is a little obvious. Christian Grey is obsessed with practicing dominance and control, whether it’s controlling Anastasia’s diet, what she wears, where she goes, or what they do in the bedroom, Christian is the ultimate control freak.
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3. He’s Basically A Sadist
If you don’t know what a sadist is then let me enlighten you, a sadist is basically someone that gets off on sexually abusing and humiliating someone. Now you might be thinking, wow that’s a heavy term to use to describe someone but may I remind you that Mr. Grey did spank Anastasia-but not in a sexy way either. If you can remember in the first movie, he spanked her so hard that she cried and well, that was pretty much how the movie ended.
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4. He Doesn’t Do Romance
We could play a drinking game with how many times Christian Grey bluntly says that he “doesn’t do romance”. If his idea of “romance” is buying Anastasia elaborate things, stalking her, and spanking her senseless then he’s terribly mistaken.
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So ladies, with these reasons in mind, don’t go searching for your Christian Grey. If your boyfriend or girlfriend does any of the things above to show you “affection” or “dominance”, well now you know the warning signs. Maybe go watch those movies to see what you should be staying away from because those movies are definitely fifty shades of cray.