Each time a new season of the Bachelor or Bachelorette rolls around, I literally cannot contain my excitement. The Bachelor is my guilty pleasure, not to mention one of the only TV shows I actually watch. Here are 8 thoughts every twenty-something girl (or guy—we know guys like this show too) might have while watching the most “dramatic show ever” – *Chris Harrison voice*
1. “Wow there are SO MANY WOMEN THIS SEASON”
How do I choose a favorite? I can’t even remember their names at this point. There are three Amandas and four Laurens. Now I’m stressed. Plz, help.
2. “These women are all so beautiful”
I’m wearing sweats on the couch with my face mask on, popcorn kernels lodged in my teeth. Clearly, I’m living my best life as these women appear on screen with golden tans, flowing hair, and luscious eyelashes.
*Glances over discreetly at my boyfriend to make sure he’s got his eye on the real prize, which is me*.
3. “You know what? The Bachelor is kinda hot”
I mean, Ben Higgins of Season 20 was non-debatably a hottie but some of the other Bachelors have gotten the no-thank-you from all us. Good and bad Bachelors alike, somehow each season the devil sits on my shoulder and whispers “He’s hot. Develop a celebrity crush.” I mean, even f*ckboy Nick Viall? I don’t even know what got into me that season but I want everyone to know my feelings for Nick are gone.
4. “Why can’t I be friends with that contestant IRL??”
We all loved Dolphin Girl from Nick Viall’s season, and honestly, I felt a little heartbroken that we would never get the chance to be real-life BFFs. Honestly, I’ve contemplated becoming a contestant on the show just for the new and beautiful friendships I would develop with these women. Some of them become friends forever.
5. “DON’T PICK HER. NO SERIOUSLY DON’T GIVE HER THAT ROSE”
Ugh, he will regret this when he watches the show after it airs and sees that she’s not here for the right reasons.
6. “Is that a real job? How is that even your real job?”
I’m confused. Do the producers make the contestants have strange job titles just for the show? Does the contestant secretly have a different, real job that she just can’t talk about so she calls herself a “chicken enthusiast?” Please explain. I, too, would like to know how I can really love chickens for a living and also be able to afford that $9,000 Vera Wang dress.
7. “That kiss looked so awkward”
I’m cringing for you. Did you enjoy that? Did he? I know none of us viewers enjoyed it. I asked everybody and we all said no.
8. “How will I survive until next week’s episode?”
I know that was a whole lot of drama packed into a short time frame but it simply was not enough, ok? The “coming up next week” preview has me SHOOK. Who exactly is in that fistfight? Does someone go to the hospital? Why did both girls have to leave the two on one date? We need answers.