Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re single or taken, the annual celebration of love ironically brings individuals more anxiety than appreciation, with couples restlessly browsing the Web last-minute for evening date ideas, only to be turned away for the umpteenth by booked restaurants, or those single left feeling inadequate or eerily alone. As people become preoccupied with having the ‘perfect’ night out, they paint love as flat and one-dimensional; if you didn’t receive a box of dark chocolates or a single red rose, you must not be loved…if you didn’t post a cute picture with your significant other, that’s too bad– maybe next year.
In short, Valentine’s Day today seems to revolve completely around us, and not what it was meant to celebrate: love.
This year for the day of amour, I took some time to reflect and ask myself when and how I experienced love or deeply felt loved. Below you’ll find those five special moments.
1. Korean Grandfather Voices His Opinion
When I volunteered for the Committee Against Anti-Asian Violence (CAAAV), I attended a community meeting where (many elderly and minority) tenants gathered to voice their opinions on public housing. During the time allotted for Q&A, an elderly Korean grandfather dauntlessly walked up to the front of the room, speaking into the mic to ask the public official a question in his broken English. In that moment, I was reminded of my own grandparents, who all reside in South Korea, and I felt love for him– for his courage, his passion. I still recall the awe that channeled through my veins as I listened to his bold voice ringing in the spacious room.
2. Nostalgic Serenades in Little Italy
When I attended the Annual Feast of San Gennaro that takes place in Little Italy, I captured a special moment that took my breath away. Though I could not comprehend the ballad’s Italian lyrics, this man’s tender voice paused people left and right from eating their vanilla cannolis. The entire street, overflowing with shouting vendors, eager photographers and hungry tourists, calmly entered what felt like a restful interlude; lovers drew near to each other as they bathed in the music. His voice still echoes in my ears, and I can faintly hum the nostalgic tune of his song; it was a subtle but beautiful passing moment that I occasionally daydream of.
3. The Warmth and Goodness of Home-Cooked Foods
I feel loved every time when someone extends an intimate invitation for me to come over for a home-cooked meal, prepared by them, for me. Food itself is communal, bringing strangers together at one table, over wholesome conversation and the richness of the delicately prepared meals. The mutually shared gratitude and excitement to taste the goodness of the hearty ingredients is a type of love that I will always cherish. The type of love that will always make every part of my body whole.
4. Mother: An Ongoing Love Story
I look into her eyes, and I am overcome with love. I am also overcome with deep sorrow. You give so much. All you do is give, give and give. This world is far too good to me, because I am undeserving of your sacrifices and selflessness. No, I will not forget when you would scrape the remaining stew and rice into my bowl, telling me that you already ate. I will not forget when you would pack into my suitcase all your warm turtleneck sweaters, leaving yourself with only thin-layered shirts. I will not forget. I can not forget. Thank you for showing me what loves looks like, and how to love. I love you.
5. My Roots, My All
The image above is from the annual Korean Parade that takes place in Manhattan’s Koreatown. Although I was born in California, my first language was Korean. For a few years in elementary school, I had a bold and thick Korean accent when I spoke. And I’m grateful I did. I’ve come to fiercely embrace my roots, my family history of brokenness– with loved ones residing in both the northern and southern peninsula. As I’ve journeyed deeper into my motherland, I’ve fallen in deeper love with everything about Korea. This love is not always pleasant though. Often, it is complex, pierced with pain, longing and wandering. But it is a love within me, a love that defines me, that keeps my blood pumping with momentum. As a lover would profess her love to the world that is watching, I will do the same for you.