I was on a crowded bus when an old lady was trying to get off. Since no one else was moving to give her space, I leaned forward in order to let her get off. All of a sudden, the middle-aged white woman sitting in front of me starts to shout at me that I’m stepping on her foot. Immediately, I apologize, several times. The woman continues to berate me and say that apologizing was not enough. Her friend even chimed in and continues to say that it was my fault. Again, I continue to apologize and even explain that I didn’t see her foot there and someone was trying to get off, which is why I was moving in the first place. At this point, the old lady was even trying to apologize with me. But, they simply ignore her and continue to raise their voices at me. it was getting really loud that everyone on the bus was staring. As I continue to speak in a normal voice when the white woman told me to stop talking, all while they continue to “shout” and argue.
So, why is it that they can speak, but I can’t?
This article isn’t about “racism” or “discrimination”. Instead, I want to address most, if not all, New Yorkers who take public transportation. When we take the train, there are certain things that should be understood and respected. But, where has the empathy, compassion, and courtesy gone?
Empathy
You have to understand that we are all in a hurry to get to where we need to go. There is no need for you to push someone else just to try to get ahead and get on the bus or train quicker. Understand that everyone else is trying to get on just as much as you are. If someone’s bag is in your personal space, perhaps touching your face, please do not just shove the person’s things in such a nasty manner. Instead, try to understand that there isn’t much space and that we all have to tolerate it for a while until the train or bus is less crowded. Or, kindly ask the person to take their bag off or to please move their bag.
Compassion
You should be considerate to those around you. I understand that you would like to sit, but if there is a specific seat that you want (perhaps, on the edge)– instead of intimidating someone to get off, ask nicely if you can sit on the edge. When there is an elderly or pregnant woman, offer your seat. You are not as old as them, and can stand for a longer duration of time. Wouldn’t you expect others to do the same for you if you are elderly or are pregnant?
Courtesy
There will always be times when you get on a crowded bus or train. To avoid getting stepped on if you are sitting, try moving in your feet and things so as to not accidentally get stepped on; no one is trying to purposely step on anyone or intrude on someone’s personal space. When getting on the train or bus, let the people who are getting off get off first; this has been emphasized so many times, and yet it seems that no one is following this rule of thumb. Doing so will only let you get on quicker–not slower. When getting on an extremely crowded train or bus, you should be courteous and take off your bag, hold it at your side or put it on the floor if space permits.
I know I may have mentioned things that seem obvious, but it is not, and during the peak of rush hour, we tend to neglect these basic rules of courtesy. When I commute daily to the NYU campus from home or work, I see people who are rude, uncompassionate, and certainly not courteous. But, to the two ladies who ruined my bus ride that morning and to those that I have seen act out in unseemly ways, please take the time to reflect on your actions and think about why you acted that way; everyone is in the same “boat”;you are not the only one on the train or bus. We’re all trying to get somewhere, so please don’t make the ride even more unsettling than it has to be.