Eating disorders affect all kind of individuals, possessing the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. And all too often, they are hidden in the shadows, kept secret. Each person’s internal battle is unique though, as their recovery is too. A great way of understanding what others have gone through is by simply sharing your story and listening to others, which is exactly what Lucy did. Vividly depicting the very real and emotional struggles she faced during her own eating disorder, Lucy warmly invites the world into her life, sharing her personal story of courage.
To all our readers, please remember that You Are Worthy.
HC NYU: Why did you choose writing as a platform to share your story?
LQ: Throughout the process of my recovery, writing became instrumental in my healing. When I wrote, I was not writing for a book per say. Rather, I would just write to express myself, my thoughts, and my feelings within certain moments. For me, writing was the safest way I found that allowed me to set free some of the pain I was feeling. I am actually very shy and often reserved, which not all people would think, but for me, writing became an incredibly safe and therapeutic medium that allowed me to express myself.
HC NYU: Can you give us an overview of how your book is structured?
LQ: The beginning of my book is an introduction to my life and personal story. In the middle, I aimed for the book to be a bit more educational and informative. I wanted to clarify and explain eating disorders in depth and why they happen. Then to contextualize the information, I resumed discussing my own journey and story. For the last section, I give some examples of how to help yourself and how to get help, and I try to convey and conclude my overall message with a little sprinkle of magic tied in as well.
HC NYU: What kind of factors influenced your eating disorder?
LQ: While the onset of my eating disorder manifested itself severely my freshman year of college, growing up I had always been incredibly hard on myself. I struggled as so many of us do with never feeling “good enough” or “worthy”. I always saw myself as butt ugly and fat no matter what others would say. I compared myself constantly to others and just never accepted myself for who I truly was. When I got to college, I struggled with knowing what I wanted to pursue and who I wanted to be. I felt unsure, scared, and lonely. Controlling my diet was the one thing I found power over, so it became my coping mechanism for the inner pain lying inside me. I thought that if I lost weight, everything else would automatically get better. I have since learned how wrong that mentality is.
HC NYU: What did your journey to recovery look like?
LQ: I was in denial for a long time. Although a part of me knew I had a problem, the eating disorder inside of me was so strong and was speaking for the real me. At first “I” didn’t want to change. My mom actually forced me to go to therapy in May 2016, and after trying it first, I adamantly refused. I was not ready to accept help. As the spring and then the summer progressed, the eating disorder intensified, became more overpowering, and I sort of reached a breaking point. On July 10th, I was hospitalized, and at that point I knew the problem was out of my control. Following the hospital visit, I was in outpatient treatment three times a week, seeing both a therapist and a registered dietitian.
HC NYU: What do you like to do to actively stay healthy and happy?
LQ: Exercise is incredibly helpful because of the feel good hormones it releases. I now know how I have to make sure to eat enough when I exercise a lot though, which in a way is fantastic! I absolutely love running and swimming, they are like medicine for me. When I’m at home I spend time doing yoga, which is really relaxing. To add, being in New York, we always have a reason to walk somewhere, so I love just getting outside, breathing in the air and walking to clear my head. I think anything that gets you moving is fantastic. I also love just dancing around with friends acting like a complete goof ball.
HC NYU: Do you have any advice for friends and family of those with eating disorders?
LQ: What many people do not realize about eating disorders is how emotionally tolling they are– not just for those with the disorders, but also for the people who care about that person. It is devastating for everybody. I think one important thing to remember is that sometimes all you can do as a support system is to be there for them, sit with them, and be a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes it’s so difficult to begin to know what to say, but that is okay. Giving support no matter how that appears, is instrumental. Loneliness and isolation are toxic, but incredibly common for us in the midst of an eating disorder. I also will say when the context is appropriate and necessary– help the person to get professional help. Remember most importantly though to still care for yourself. It’s hard to be strong and supportive for someone else unless you remember always to put you and your care first too.
HC NYU: Do you think there is a stigma around eating disorders when it comes to open discussion and admission? If so, why?
LQ: Yes 100%. I think there is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding them. No one chooses to have an eating disorder. There are huge underlying factors like anything that cause them to appear in somebody’s life. Also I think because an eating disorder is a mental illness, there is a huge stigma around that. Mental illnesses are incredibly common and affect so many of us, yet I think because of the stereotypes that are associated with being “mentally ill”, people have a very difficult time trying to accept and understand and talk about issues such as these.
HC NYU: How have your personal ambitions changed throughout this entire journey?
LQ: I came to NYU wanting to study music and music business. After feeling lacking and conflicted, I explored other areas and simultaneously learned a lot more about myself and my passions through my recovery. From the journey I have been on, one thing I have learned is that helping other people is something I am really good at. I now want to pursue a degree in nutrition in hopes of becoming a registered dietitian to help those who struggle with disordered eating and food issues.
HC NYU: Your official book launch event is on Saturday, March 4. Can you tell us more about it?
LQ: Yes! I will be speaking on a panel with Doctor Andrea Vazzana and Doctor Linda Herrman. I will be sharing pieces of my book and my story to bring attention to eating disorders as well as the greater message I intend to pass on to others. Professor Vazzana, and Professor Herrman will be using their expertise to discuss eating disorders and the broader issues that come with them. It will be fun. I will be giving out books, we will have delicious food, and I’m also putting together a fun playlist for all of us to enjoy and jam to.
HC NYU: Lastly, what is the main message that you hope to share with your readers?
LQ: I want my readers to know that they are not alone in whatever pain it is that they are faced with in this life. So many of us, no matter how we appear on the outside have a different story going on within that does not match the outer portrayal. I want people to know that none of us deserve to live in that pain. There are ways to get out of it, even when it seems impossible. Trying to see the light and the positives in your dark moments is also important and can help you feel a sense of purpose again. Keeping a perspective about everything and having gratitude is critical. What I know now is that if the pain I have felt will allow me to help one other person, it will most definitely be worth it. It is sometimes really difficult– to turn bad things into good, but for me this past year has taught me how the bad things actually have the power to make us stronger, and give us the opportunity to become even more beautiful than we were when we started.
HC NYU: And just for a little fun!
How You Like Your Acai Bowl: As long as it has peanut butter, I will be a happy camper!
Fitness Inspirations: Lindsay Vaughn, Michael Phelps, and Khloe Kardashian (no shame, she’s a workout beast)
Legs, Arms, Abs, or Cardio: Cardio!
Favorite Music Artist: Probably Alicia Keys, Adele, and Ed Sheeran (sorry, couldn’t choose one)
Three Words to Describe your Fashion Style: Simple, a little vintagey, and pink.
Follow Lucy on Social Media!
Facebook: Lucy Quigley
Instagram: @lucyquigley11
Website: www.lucyquigley.com
Like “You Are Worthy” on Facebook
all photos taken by Grace Moon