Communication is key! Cliche as is, communication can ultimately make or break your long distance relationship. Figuring out how, when and what to communicate to your partner once you’re long distance can be tricky.
It’s especially hard to figure this out if you’re used to living close together — I’m talking to all my high school sweetheart couples that are moving off to separate college campuses! Communication differs from one relationship to the next, but here are some general-talking tips I’ve picked up in the past four years of my long distance love.
Texting
Be clear! If you’re a terrible texter like me, this is especially important. Leave no room for your partner’s interpretation or imagination to run rampant. Most disagreements I’ve gotten into with my boyfriend have been over a misinterpreted text message at some point in time. If most of your humor is based on sarcasm, be prepared for a lot of “huh” or “what” when the joke doesn’t come across via iMessage. It might take a while, but eventually you’ll learn to speak and understand your partner’s sixth love language — texting.
Facetime
Be purposeful and present when Facetiming! Since this is the closest you’ll get to seeing your partner face-to-face while apart, make sure you’re engaged when on these calls. Set aside time to be fully locked-in to the conversation and not distracted by other people, work or tasks. This will make your partner feel special and lead to more meaningful conversations. Make it clear, early on, that your Facetime dates will be a time to just focus on one another with no distractions. Invest in some nice headphones if you’re living with a roommate and chat it up, whether this is a daily or weekly check in!
Calling
When it’s not possible to Facetime, whether this is between classes or on your commute home, a good old-fashioned call is just as nice. As corny as it is, sometimes just hearing your partner’s voice after a long day of classes or work can really brighten your mood. If your schedules align, call your partner while you’re going through your morning routine to talk about each other’s plans for the day. If they’re having a rough night of studying, call them for a minute or two to let them know you’re thinking about them, without completely derailing their study session by Facetiming. Use up those minutes and have some short and sweet conversations.
Snail Mail
I had never written a casual letter to someone before I got into a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend would likely argue that I’m still awful at being consistent with these letters, BUT it is something that I’ve really enjoyed doing throughout the past years. Draft a cutesy love note or write out some plans you have for your partner’s next visit and send it their way. If you’re feeling fancy, include a tiny photo of you two or a trinket that reminds you of them in the envelope. Pick up a pack of stamps at the beginning of the semester and engage in some pen-pal romance while you’re apart!
Most Importantly, Understand Each Other
As I talked about in my first article in this series, understanding how your partner communicates is essential to having a healthy and happy long distance relationship. You might find that you spend a lot more time on your phone than they do, or vice versa. Maybe you like Facetiming but they like talking on the phone. Whatever your different preferences might be, take the time to adjust and compromise to find that sweet spot of communicating effectively.