It’s not an uncommon situation. You’re walking down the street and the most adorable Dalmatian is leading its owner…also dressed in a white track jacket with black spots. You’re sitting on the subway and see a couple PDA-ing. You walk into lecture the first day and discover the professor is an aesthetic gift from the heavens. You walk along Broadway and catch a glimpse of a celebrity. Obviously your initial reaction is to share this moment with your friends/mom/younger sibling/arch enemy via Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/Foursquare. But how? Words cannot do justice for the situation you’ve found yourself in. And that is why cameras have become a vital piece of cell phones, laptops, and daily human interactions.
Of course, there are some precautions one must always take before “creeping.” Take out your camera/cell phone. Take a picture. Does it make noise? Does it attract immediate attention to you in a quiet setting? Fix that, stat. Turn your phone/device on silent to avoid that shutter sound. If you own a Blackberry, my sincere condolences: you’ve practically taken yourself out of the creeping game. Because Blackberrys make the inevitable camera noise on or off the silent mode, the owner can only take pictures in loud settings, or preempt the snapping of a photo with a cough, sneeze, or other obnoxious auditory distraction.
Next predicament: does it flash? Some people do in fact carry their cameras at opportune moments, and as usual, the automatic setting detects whether there is enough light for the photo. If it’s too dark, off goes the flash. If you’re trying to be conspicuous in a low-light setting, turn the darned thing off. Same for Blackberrys and iPhone 4s. The last thing you’d want is the sexy professor to notice the montage of photos you’ve taken in class and are adding to the shrine on your laptop.
So you now have a silent, non-flashing camera/phone. The next step is all about the positioning of yourself and the device. Sure, you can take the tourist approach and blatantly use your camera in plain sight (and simultaneously watch your dignity fade to nothing). But that’d be throwing in the towel much too quickly. Say you are, in fact, trying to sneak a picture of Professor Drop-Dead-Gorgeous for your blog, and the classroom layout is a Socratic circle around the room (a challenge, but a doable one nonetheless). Make sure the spotlight is not on you, unless you’re great at multi-tasking and can recite Spanish poetry while sneakily snapping pictures. Position your device under your desk, or hidden under a book on your lap, and make sure the camera eye is positioned and angled in the professor’s direction. Wait until he is as far from you as possible without having to utilize the zoom option. Click the button a few times (one always needs different angles and multiples just in case) and quickly stash the technological culprit in your backpack.
If you’re at a place where cameras are strictly forbidden (a play, for example), it can be even more difficult snapping a photo. Say you’re at Equus and want to have a photo of Daniel Radcliffe for keepsake (those programs just don’t cut it anymore), repeat the precautions of silencing and de-flashing your device. Again, conceal the culprit with a jacket, or even keep it in your sleeve with just the camera eye sticking out (practice at home beforehand if you’re set on getting this picture). When the audience stands to applaud, or you have a chance to “rest your head on your hands,” snap away. Make sure to take multiples, just in case.
And voila! Crop the photo on your computer before proudly displaying the picture for many envious eyes to see!