The arrival of the cold weather leads to long hours spent indoors, and can also be a period of a lot of self-reflection. Rather than focus on the mistakes I have made in the past, I decided to figure out a way to prevent myself from making new ones.
The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Roz, demonstrates how ancient Toltec concepts and ideologies of life can help us realize and reach our optimal potential. These ideas are also meant to increase our well-being by eliminating the weight of people’s expectations, something we could all use after those Thanksgiving dinners with extended family. This book changed my life, helping me rediscover my newfound personal power and cope with emotional struggles. Check out how they can also be applied to your life and help you become a much happier and more confident person:
The Four Agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word:
On Earth, humans are the only animal species that have this innate language ability. Words are our main way of expression, and so are naturally an extremely powerful tool. Being impeccable with your words means not using them against yourself. If you told your crush that you liked them and the feeling isn’t mutual, don’t call yourself unworthy of love. Your words influence the way you think, as well as your actions. By accepting these self-deprecating statements you are putting all of your power into negative thoughts – be mindful with your words and turn that around!
2. Don’t take anything personally:
This one is especially important when dealing with rejection. Fostering a strong sense of self will allow you to not take things too personally and move forward confidently. The only person you can control is you, so focus on that! Trust that you have taken all of the steps to improve yourself, having that positive intent behind your actions makes it that much easier to take responsibility for your actions.
3. Don’t make assumptions…
Ask questions instead! Making assumptions is the ultimate self-sabotage. Since you know what your worst-case scenario is, your mind will have no problem taking you there before you can even take the time to properly process the situation. In a relationship, for example, it’s easy to assume the worst out of your partner’s hints and signs when things seem to be ‘off.’ Rather than staying in your own head, take responsibility for the way that you communicate your feelings and opinions to your partner. Is something not clear? Ask questions! Creating this habit will spare you unnecessary emotional pain and anxiety, and will also improve your ability to communicate efficiently and effectively with others. Win-win!
4. Always do your best:
Having this as a starting point will make the other agreements even faster to learn and integrate into your life. Do your best wherever you go, not out of obligation, but because that’s who you want to be. Being proactive in the moment means you’ll be far less likely to regret some of your decisions after it’s already too late to do anything about it.
Implementing these four agreements in your life will transform you for the better – you’ll be confident to take control when it’s time to deal with the inevitable obstacles of life.