This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at NYU chapter.
Relationships may be different, but there are some things that every healthy couple must have for the flame to burn bright. Identifying what makes a relationship strong will help you determine what is working and what things you and your man can work on together.
Here is a list of six things ALL couples should have:
1. Trust
This may seem like a no brainer, but you’d be suprised how many couples lack this key ingredient. Whether you are in a long distance relationship or see the guy every day, trusting him to not cheat on you is essential for your relationship and personal mental health. If you find yourself getting jealous when he stops to say hi to a girl from his bio class, you must pause and honestly assess whether your own insecurities are getting in the way of your relationship. If he didn’t text you back all day, don’t freak out at him; you’ll feel really stupid when he tells you he accidentally dropped his phone down an elevator shaft.
2. Communication
If you aren’t sure he understands your needs, discuss them. If there’s a problem, talk about it. Don’t just vent to your friends (they will listen, but eventually get tired of you not taking their advice) or let it boil inside you until a huge argument arises. It’s better to address your problems in a calm, tactful manner than randomly bringing up your issue over a minor disagreement. The more you talk, the healthier your relationship will be, guaranteed. Guys are not mind readers and they never will be!
3. Understanding
This is where type A personalities (guilty myself) often struggle. I mean, how can he not be worrying about being jobless after college, looming internship application deadlines, or, at the very least, his midterm test tomorrow morning?! The sooner you listen to where your partner is coming from the happier you will ultimately be. So he doesn’t color code his closet–this doesn’t mean he doesn’t care and is irrational! In an argument listen closely to what he is saying instead of ignoring him and thinking of your next rebuttal. The more “Aha!” moments, the better.
4. Compromise
After a big argument, you both decide that in some respects everyone was at fault. Instead of watching the football game with his friends, like you do every Sunday, you go out for a relaxing brunch date. Dating someone doesn’t mean you change yourself, but you do learn to negotiate and compromise with them so both of your needs are met. Being too selfish in a relationship only leads to break ups. Always address your own needs first, but be rational with things that you could change to make him happy as well.
5. Separation
I swear to you, it’s going to be okay if you don’t see him for a weekend. The sun will rise in the morning if he doesn’t sleepover one night. Healthy separation is absolutely crucial for a relationship. If you see your guy every waking moment of every day, you are bound to get sick of him. Even married couples have to get away from one another sometimes. Living with someone or simply dating them can be overwhelming, especially for those type A personalities. It’s good to set aside some quality time to hang out with your girlfriends and watch movies by yourself.
6. Encouragement
College, as I’m sure most of you have realized by now, is a crucial part of our lives that will probably determine a lot about our futures. Things you need to be successful in college include motivation, determination, hard work and effort. Having a guy who doesn’t push you a little to study for a couple of extra hours can be quite revealing about your relationship. For example, you have a test worth 35% of your grade tomorrow—how does your guy react? Does he bring you Chipotle and help you go through notecards for an hour or tell you to ditch studying and go out for a drink? His response tells you a lot about him. A true guy cares for your well being, not solely about how you can satisfy him. Both of you should be encouraging one another to do better and go for your dreams. You both shouldn’t be selfish but instead do what’s going to help your partner in the future.
Image Credit: Flickr, Photo 1, Photo 2,
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