When I met you, I didn’t really know much about what “love” was. I had honestly never experienced it.. Of course there had been puppy love, or adolescent crushes that turned into…. well nothing, but I wasn’t expecting to love you either. We had met years prior and somehow managed to keep in touch. That changed quickly once being hundreds of miles away turned into having close accessibility to each other. I had never had a “real boyfriend” (whatever that means) Nor had I had any experience with real commitment.
You were the first man I had ever dealt with on a serious, adult , dating level. I felt like I was 100% comfortable with you. You were the first to make me feel comfortable with sharing parts of me no one ever knew about. You were my safe haven. I craved to spend every second of my day with you. You challenged me to think, and let’s be honest, our political debates were definitely something for T.V. I accepted every inch of you and I felt that you did the same with me. Our talks about our goals, plans for the future, even one together always left me wanting more of you. I completely let go of every vulnerability I felt and fully indulged myself in you.
Later after we parted ways, because let’s be honest, your intentions were not geared toward a “Happily Ever After,” at least not for me. Nevertheless, I realized I had been missing something. I was miss something so important, that had I had it when I met you, you probably would’ve never existed in my world. I was missing self love. Because, self love wouldn’t have let me get wrapped up in someone who didn’t value me as much as I valued them. Self love would’ve shown me that I was deserving of so much more than you offered. Self love would’ve given me the confidence to walk away from you the first time you showed me who you really were, and not after multiple occasions. With self love, I wouldn’t have felt like I needed to alter anything about me, to only please you.But, through you I learned to understand the importance of self love, and now because I know how to love me, I will never love someone like you again.