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Friend or Foe? : How to Spot a Toxic Friend

Great friendships have the ability to fill you with confidence, comfort, and overall joy. Cultivating genuine bonds with likeminded people make up a large part of a persons life. Unfortunately, terrible friendhships can have adverse affects.Toxic friendships can drain you of confidence, cause discomfort, and ultimately threaten your mental health. HCNSU understands how tough it can be to spot a toxic friend, especially if they havent always been toxic. Here are a few telltale signs that are sure help you determine whether you have a toxic friend on your hands.

 

You’re doing all the work

Contrary to popular belief, all friends aren’t equal. Meaning, each person in the friendship bring something special to the relationship. This uniqueness could be great advice, impeccable listening skills or anything else. Although friendships aren’t always equal, they should always be reciprocal. An authentic friendship isn’t one-sided. If you find that you are the only one in the friendship that it reaching out or making any type of effort there is a high chance your friendship is one sided and toxic.

 

Too much shade

Knowing someone well enough to consider them a friend suggests that the person is pretty familiar with you as well. That familiarity that accompanies friendships often gives friends the greenlight to cross certain boundaries. These boundaries can sometimes include joking you, bringing up embarrassing moments and more while in the company of no one else or people you both trust. The setting during these moments is extremely important; a real friend would never attempt to humiliate you nor spread your business to the masses. Furthermore, your friend knows what boundaries not to cross. With that being said, if the shade is being thrown a little too hard, a little too often, and around a little more people …. you know what to do.

You can feel it 

Truthfully, you know you have a toxic friend that’s why you’re reading this article but besides the inkling, you can feel it physically. Have you ever felt drained after a conversation with a friend? Like a simple conversation with them put you in a bad mood. If merely speaking to this person drains you or alters your mood, it is time to remove yourself from the friendship. 

 

The only trips they like are guilt trips

The best thing about friends is that there no limit to how many you can have. There are college friends, back home friends, study friends, party friends… you get the point; limitless. In some friendships, there is a hint of possessiveness causes friction when one friend begins to spend time with their other friends. When this happens, usually the toxic friend will feel a tinge if jealousy. As a result of this jealousy, the guilt trip begin. There should never be a time that your friend brings up anything that they have done for you in an effort to keep you to themselves. That kind of behavior is manipulative and toxic.

All relationships have ups and downs, friendships especially. Although perfection is unrealistic, happiness is not. Anyone you allow into your life should always add to your joy and if they don’t, you have every right to end the friendship. Ending toxic friendships isn’t easy, but just remember you don’t owe anyone anything, and self care isn’t selfish. Now go on, remove yourself.

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