Yesterday afternoon marked a huge milestone in my journey of faith.
I was baptized at my home church alongside my mother and grandmother (yes, three generations!). Coincidentally, it happened to fall right on Mother’s Day, which made the experience even more memorable and personal.
If you have read my previous articles, you know that the presence of God is something I value greatly in every aspect of my life. Although faith was a topic of discussion in my household, the idea of converting and fully dedicating myself to Christianity was not something I prioritized in my childhood. In fact, it was a decision I pursued only a year ago, following the end of my freshman year of college.
I’ll tell you right now: the transition from living an unfaithful and worrisome life, to embracing the presence and works of God was not an easy (or pretty) one. In truth, I am still in the early stages. I have made mistakes, both unwillingly and willingly, and I have stepped away from the will of God countless times. But what I have grown to learn through the trials and tribulations of this last year is that you cannot do it alone. And thankfully, with the presence of God, you do not have to figure everything out alone despite whatever narrative society may push onto you.
To mentally and emotionally prepare for my baptism, I chose to take a sabbatical right after classes concluded. In other words, I took a break from my phone, including distancing myself from friends (don’t worry, I kept them updated!), social media, and any other stress-inducing apps. Instead, I chose to read, journal, and most importantly, curate a playlist for my ride to church that morning.
Now, I am not perfect, and I do not claim to be so. My playlist is not the most traditional “Christian” playlist—it includes artists that may be considered worldly or secular despite spiritual topics or themes. But each of these five songs reflects on experiences, moments, and reminders that were personal and influential to my journey with myself, faith, and God.
1. Outside myself, infinity song
I was first introduced to this song in my junior, or senior, year of high school. At that time, I was battling severe depression and was isolated from everything, including God. I didn’t talk much to friends (or much at all), and I often skipped class to sit in my counselor’s office.
“You know that I need your help
Outside Myself, Infinity Song
Even when it’s just myself
You know that I need your help
Just to get outside myself”
When I was overcome with emotions, anxiety often riddled my brain and forced me to believe that shutting out everything was a healthy coping mechanism. This song reminded me that there is much more to life beyond whatever my mind is telling me, and I must take initiative to step “outside of myself ” to realize that. More importantly, although it is not explicitly stated, the word “You” in the lyric “You know that I need your help / Just to get outside myself” felt reminiscent of the presence of God and his will in our lives, even when things are all over the place and we feel undeserving.
2. I gotta find peace of mind, lauryn hill
“You are my peace of mind
I Gotta Find Peace Of Mind, Lauryn Hill
That old me is left behind”
I came to this song towards the beginning of college, where I was transitioning from being a teenager into young adulthood. What I love most about this song is Hill’s raw performance, where she explored moments of emotional exhaustion from either past relationships or internal battles about her worth. She repeats “I gotta find peace of mind”, referring to her ultimate reconnection with God and His merciful ways. Despite feeling as if she is “impossible” of redemption, or lacking of “identity” and genuine purpose, God still takes her in just as she is, unlike her romantic partner, and gives her the peace of mind she is innately deserving of.
3. Tell him, lauryn hill
“Tell Him” by Lauryn Hill is another powerful declaration of one’s love for God. Throughout the song, Hill references multiple Biblical scriptures, including 1 Corinthians 13.
“Now I may have faith
Tell Him, Lauryn Hill
To make mountains fall
But if I lack love then I am nothin’ at all”
The scripture reads, ” and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13 NIV). Hill discusses her dedication to God through her renewed movements, thoughts, and beliefs. For if not with God in all that she does, Hill declares that she is with nothing, grounding listeners, especially myself, in the importance of spiritual devotion and rebirth.
4. Free by perri jones
Now, this was an oldie, but a goodie.
This song came out in 2019, so I was listening to it in middle school/early high school. But what Jones was talking about didn’t hit me until I came across it again in my sophomore year of college.
Though she does not explicitly mention or reference God, Jones discusses her personal journey of self-acceptance and breaking free from societal limitations. And if you have read scriptures from the Bible, or watched any church’s sermon, you’d know that one of the most influential burdens of a human is their desire for the world, and wordly things.
As as a young woman on her journey with Christ, struggling with wordly pressures such as money or lust, this song is a beautiful reminder to refocus and breathe life into yourself, without the need to perform or explain yourself. Who you are is a gift from God, and when you prioritize loving, accepting, and honoring yourself, you’re giving God thanks and praise for his divine making of you.
5. Young Love by cleo sol
“I know you wanna be someone (be someone, be someone)
Young Love, Cleo Sol
And your heart is pure
You gotta get up out your head
And realize you’ve won”
Similar to Jones, Cleo Sol’s “Young Love” professes the importance of loving and grounding yourself in you. Especially as a young woman, it is very easy to lose sight of your divine purpose and will through bad experiences, unsolved pain, and the hurry to prove your ‘redeemed’ self. This uplifting anthem encourages young people (young women, in particular) to embrace their worth, protect (not isolate) their inner light, and pursue genuine desires through God’s will of a peace of mind—not scrambled emotions, misplaced insecurities or societal expectations.
These are just a few songs that have made a profound impact in my life, and my journey with God. I hope that you add each of these songs to your playlist, and enjoy and learn from them as I have!